Dori Durbin: Welcome to, that's Good Parenting, the podcast that searches for simple steps to reduce your parenting stress. I'm your host, children's book illustrator, coach, ghost writer, and podcaster, Dory Durbin. Parents, do you have a memory of a family vacation where almost every single thing went tragically wrong?

There were meltdowns, tantrums, crying, and then there was the kids' reactions too. And that amazing trip cost an arm and leg and made you never want to go back there ever again. Well, today we're talking about how families rethink traveling in a way that vacations are happily shared and a joy to remember.

I'm joined by certified Family Travel coach Laura Ron, and welcome to the show, Laura.

Laura Rahn: I'm happy to be here. I am excited to have you talk because I feel like hardly anybody knows what a travel coach is. As a matter of fact, I know a lot of people who don't even use a travel agent. They're just trying to plan things themselves.

Dori Durbin: So can you talk a little bit about what, what [00:01:00] you do specifically, and maybe a little bit about how you got into it?

Laura Rahn: Yes, so I didn't, three years ago, I didn't know what a travel coach was, and I am a retired educator. I have 33 years in classroom teaching and as an instructional coach, and when I retired from education, I'm also a lifelong traveler and grew up a military brat and have been traveling with my family.

My girls are now 20 and 23 and 25. When I retired, I stumbled upon the Travel Coach Network and learned more about it and decided that was going to be my second chapter, and I got certified as a family travel coach, and here I am. So how am I different than a travel agent? I first and foremost, I don't do any booking, so I empower families, moms and dads, whoever is in charge of the money.

I [00:02:00] empower them to feel confident and safe. Ready to click the button. I do not click buttons for anyone, and I don't take the credit cards to make the plans. What I do is I use the analogy of a sports coach quite frequently, and you know, a sports coach is on the sidelines. They're getting you ready.

They're training you, they're giving you the skillset, they're pumping you up and getting you excited, and then you go out there and play the game on your own. And they'll give you guidance if you need it. And that's pretty much what I do. I work side by side with families to. Get them ready for a dream vacation to be, to help them be excited, to give them tips and tricks and ways to get the whole family involved in the vacation designing before they even leave the house so that everyone has ownership of the vacation.

And sometimes it helps to avoid those meltdowns from the tweens or the teens or [00:03:00] even the 8-year-old who, this is boring. I don't wanna do this. Through that the families come home with more connections and happy memories. And prior to leaving, I talked to them about why do you wanna go on this vacation?

What are your goals for this vacation? What are your intentions? So that it's more than just we're going to the beach for a week. They actually have a reason why that they're going on this family vacation and everyone's involved in that.

Dori Durbin: That's so awesome. I love that you are able to see the whole picture for them.

Do we get tunnel vision when it comes to vacations? It's like, well, we're gonna plan this thing and it's gonna be beautiful and perfect, and everything's gonna work great and then it doesn't happen. But it was because we didn't look at the whole picture. And I feel. When the kids are little, it's not such, it's less difficult.

Yes. And they get older and all of a sudden we've got some bigger kids with bigger opinions [00:04:00] and there's all kinds of issues. I'm really just curious in general, like what kind of issues do families usually come to you with or what are the, what has not worked in the past that they're actually asking for help with?

Laura Rahn: I I mean, there's not one set. I mean, you know, fam, families, all families are different. All dynamics of families are different. So I can't say every family comes with this, but I've dealt with families like screen time. You know, how do I get my kids off their phones, off their screens without them yelling at me or shutting down?

Also, we had a vacation where this happened and I just don't wanna travel ever again because it was awful. How can we have a vacation where that won't happen? And it might just be a meltdown. It might be, you know, a little bit of slamming doors or some words were shared or feelings were hurt and how can we avoid that?

Or, you know, I spent all this money on this vacation and all they wanted to do was [00:05:00] this rather than this. And I know my kids, I know what they like and I know what. We'll make them happy and then none of that made them happy. How can we change that? Or we're just not gonna go on vacations anymore.

And so really everything's different. But I've heard all of that.

Dori Durbin: Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's interesting too, and I'm gonna ask you to share this. I think about when I work with, with the authors, I focus on each character, right? You focus on. Defining what that character likes, what they think, how they feel, all those things.

And you almost do the same thing with what you do because you're talking to each person. Can you talk about that? I think that's so cool.

Yeah. One, as a family travel coach, I start have with a 30 minute discovery call. And that's usually with mom or dad. Sometimes mom and dad, they've heard about me, they've seen something about me.

They reach out and schedule a 30 minute discovery call at no charge, and we just chat. That's an opportunity for us to get to know each [00:06:00] other and see if there's a connection, see if they wanna work with me, learn more about what I might be able to help them with. Towards the end of that call, I can sort of gauge whether they're in or out or if they're still deciding.

And then, so I'll ask you, you know, what are your next steps? How do you wanna move forward? And if they're interested in working with me, one of the things I share, which sometimes is a shocker, is that the first coaching session that we have together will be all the travelers. Who have a voice old enough to have a voice and an opinion, like you said.

And so all the travelers, and they're looking at me and I just had a call recently and shared that, and they're like, well, our daughters are 16 and 13. 16 year old's not gonna wanna talk to you. And I said, that's okay. Please invite her. Because one of the ways to get started on that vacation planning is to get everyone involved.[00:07:00]

And I, I have a three step method that I work families through Dream design depart, and through that three step method, it's so important to hear about the dreams of everybody before you even pick the hotel, before you even book the flights. And so. The parents who have said, I'll bring my kid will be on the call and I can, I do virtually so I can talk to anyone around the country.

My, my child will be on the call, but they're not going to want, and then I'll start asking questions and I encourage everyone to actively listen and not interrupt, no judgment zone. And I'll start asking questions and usually the kids will be hesitant at the beginning, but I'll just comfortably wait for them to answer and be very friendly and ask another question, and then they'll start talking.

And then they'll start sharing, the 16-year-old, the 17-year-old, the 13-year-old, why they wanna go on this trip, what they've heard [00:08:00] about it, that they wanna do, what they're worried about and I've watched the parents' reactions on the screen and they're like, oh my gosh. Which makes me wonder, have they ever asked their child, what do you wanna do on this vacation?

Or is it just, this is where we're going and this is what I planned and I'm so excited. So it's fun. Well, and I, I thought it was really cool too that you, we started early in talking and you said, I work with families, and families aren't just you. Talk about that. Yeah. So when I identified my niche and the travel coach Network as a family travel coach, initially it was sure, you know, the traditional family, mom and dad or the parents and the kids.

And as I started working through this. I realized your family, every family is different, and so my definition of being a family travel coach, my definition of family is traveling with the people that you love. [00:09:00] It might just be spouses, it might be partners. It might be mom and dad and kids mom and mom and kids.

It might be grandparents and kids. It might be a whole multi-generational trip. It might be a girl's trip. With just friends and you love each other and you wanna go away for a week. So I really have fun, you know, identifying well who's in this family that's going to be traveling together, and I wanna talk to everybody.

I love that. Especially because I think, when I read that, I was thinking, mom, dad, kids, and then when you said that, I was like, oh my goodness. Like girls night, girls trip. Like, you know, just all the things in the general multi-generational trips. I wouldn't wanna plan that without help.

That's a lot of opinions that are all coming together. A lot of expectations.

Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yeah.

So, okay. Let me give you a scenario, 'cause I'm super curious how this would work. Let's say I have a kid that wants to go to, let's say the Magic Kingdom. Mm-hmm. And maybe we have some beach comers and [00:10:00] we have somebody who wants to enjoy the big city.

How would you flush that all out? So it worked out.

So you're describing basically my family. Oh, well, this, I've been there, done that. Um, I've got a big city daughter and I've got a nature outside daughter, and we all took the same vacations growing up. And as we vacation, they identified what they liked about it, what they didn't like about it.

And now at 23 and 25, they have very strong opinions about where they want a vacation. And so when. That's my favorite part is there's not a destination already decided on. It's more of a we wanna go on a vacation and we'll all, we'll, all we are all arguing about where we wanna go. I love that because then that's where the conversation is great because you can hear from everybody and then you start brainstorming.

I spend a lot of time talking about compromise and flexibility. And ownership. And for the [00:11:00] littler kids, the younger kids those two words. I'm, you know, I'm explaining you're gonna have to compromise on vacation. You're gonna have to be flexible. And what we try to do is find a destination that has a little bit of everything and then.

Start talking about what the itinerary could look like. Okay. If we're gonna go to the Magic Kingdom on one day, then maybe we'll go to the beach the next day. Well, I don't wanna go to the beach, but you wanna go to the Magic Kingdom? So we're gonna compromise, you know, and having those conversations before you finalize everything, before you walk out the door.

The child who doesn't necessarily want to go to the beach. Has accepted it because they know they're getting their magic Kingdom day. And I dealt with that with my daughters when we went on a trip and my big city daughter was very excited to do all the shopping and all the stores and all the everything.

And my other daughter was like, I [00:12:00] wanna come because I wanna experience it. Family. And they were older, they were in their early twenties. And she's like, but I wanna find some indie bookstores. I wanna go find a nice cafe where it's low stress and find a really cute bookstore in all of our places that's not just so busy.

And so this was the pre-conversation, these, those were, I was coaching my own children and we we went on the trip and my big city daughter was, knew we were going to spend some time in a bookstore, in a very small cafe. Turned out it was one of her favorite parts of the trip. How cool. She would not have chosen it.

And she knew going into it, it was gonna happen whether she wanted it to or not. So there weren't the surprises. There wasn't the opportunity for a meltdown because she already knew. She also knew she was getting something of her own. And so that opportunity to have those conversations before you leave.

Helps a [00:13:00] lot.

I could see how that would clear up a lot of the expectation issues too.

Mm-hmm. As far as, you know, I was expecting for this to be this and it's not, mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm sure you've done a bunch of trips where you've helped people plan trips. What has been probably by far, your biggest or most fanciful trip that you've held planned.

I am in the middle of helping a tra a tra family travel to Amsterdam. Ooh. And going with her son and mom and dad and son. And I just had a coaching session with them this morning and it was so neat to hear because one of the best things she mentioned was that we didn't. I was helping them design an itinerary that met their hopes and wishes and their goals and why they wanted to go on vacation.

And she was so excited because she felt empowered now to go book the [00:14:00] hotels and go book some of the advanced tickets that they might need for some of the sites they wanted to see. Whereas before she was like, I was lost about where to even go for hotels. But now that we've identified things that we wanna do.

I can find hotels or she was saying I can find hotels close to those places. And then I'm doing the same with another family that's traveling to Italy with their two daughters. And you know, they wanna do this and they wanna do that and this and that. And I'm looking for, I haven't had the first coaching session yet.

I'm looking forward to hearing from the daughters. What do you wanna do? And then helping them figure out an itinerary that where the parents don't need a vacation from the vacation when they get home. Mm-hmm.

So good. So true. Yes. Well, I think too, you know, when I think of vacations, I hear. Very large numbers.

$25,000 vacations, right? Mm-hmm. [00:15:00] Um, most people can't do that. They're on like that big dreams with the shoestring budget, and I feel like if they came back, they would be stressed. They would be financially, emotionally stressed by the trip. So how do you help families figure out how to take that amazing vacation on a small budget?

So that is, that's the elephant in the room. Mm-hmm. When we have the initial conversations, they've got these dreams and because I am not the one booking, I don't need to know down to the penny how much they're spending. That is their business, but what I do need to know to be able to help them is.

What kind of vacation do you want? Are you looking for luxury? Are you looking for camping? Are you looking for a Hampton Inn or a boutique hotel? Do you want to fly everywhere or can you drive? Do you, and so we talk about the budget because I [00:16:00] also offer to take the stress off of the parent's shoulders behind the scenes resource gathering.

They can task me with, can you find a bunch of hotels that are within this price range so we can look at them? Can you figure out when the trains run so that we can figure out how long it will take us to get here or there? So sometimes I end coaching sessions if they wanna include some resource gathering sessions.

I'll end a coaching session with what are my jobs, what's my homework? Because I do have more time than they do usually. And so. As they're saying, well, can you help us find this? Find that, well, how much are you willing to spend on that? And then I will try to find the things within those boundaries.

That's awesome. Yeah. I think that's part of the stress of it too, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Where you're trying to book a date that you can actually go, but then also figure out how, um, mm-hmm. I, I have a. Simple trip where my daughter, she's college age, [00:17:00] wanted to go to this big football game. It was a finals football game, and they were trying to figure out how to do it with just a few dollars, you know, in their pockets as college students.

And they found a hotel paid, I think, $35 for it. So anybody who's listening knows, oh, that's probably not the hotel to stay at, but that's what they stayed at. Yeah. And they had figured out, you know, Uber money and things like that. And they got there and they didn't sleep in the beds. It was so scary.

Mm-hmm. But it was because they didn't know the area. They didn't do a whole lot of research. They looked for the pre, the cheapest cost. And that's what you're saying, you, you would. Potentially if they ask you to take that on for them. Yes. And that is, that is what the, um, I'm just thinking of some of the my client's words from this morning because she was saying how grateful she was that she had someone to talk through with all of this.

I'm, as a coach, I'm asking questions. I'm listening. I'm offering thoughts, I'm answering questions. I'm not an [00:18:00] expert in the location. I do have expertise in helping mediate other people's thinking and helping them get to a solution that they feel comfortable with. And that's what she was saying. She was saying how grateful she was just to have someone to bounce all this around with, and now she feels confident to go make some of these bookings.

So yeah. That's huge. Mm-hmm. Well, I can speak for my daughter's situation, that would've been a, a huge help. So, yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing, you know, the kid a, a young adults trip, I actually had a former client ask me for a gift card for her adult children. Because her two adult sons wanna go on a guy's trip to Europe, and she's like, I don't know if they'll be able to do that or not.

Can I give them a gift card for you just to talk with them about it and give them some guidance? And so we're gonna do that and I'm gonna help 'em plan [00:19:00] this boys trip to Europe. They're not gonna want detail, detail, detail, but similar to your daughter's story, I can sort of guide them to be how to be cost conscious and safe and do all of that.

That's a brilliant gift actually. That's amazing. 'cause again, that's not something you would think of yourself. And if they're in a situation where they're traveling, they're probably gonna save their money and need things for the trip itself. So, yeah. That's amazing. So, okay, I'm gonna ask you a tough question.

So the clients that you've worked with recently or in the past, have you had any before and after stories? Maybe they went to the same like state, the same area. They had a terrible experience before they met you and then after they had a great experience.

I did have a client, I mean, I'll just use the Disney example.

You know, a client who went to Disney and was overwhelmed and crazy and, you know, the kids didn't have any fun, but mom and dad didn't fully understand what went into preparing Disney. And there [00:20:00] are a thousand Disney travel agents out there who do this as a living. I'm a Disney adult. I love it.

Been there many times, they didn't wanna go through a travel agent and have every minute booked, but when she came to me, she was like I don't wanna repeat that trip. I think we need a redo. And so we just talked about what they wanted and how they wanted the trip to flow and talked to, I talked with the kids and it was an 8-year-old daughter, and I talked with her and she was so excited to tell me the things that she wanted to do.

And so, and it was multi-generational, grandma and grandpa also on this. Adventure. And so, um, I just helped them design an itinerary that had flexibility yet also had everything the little 8-year-old wanted. And grandma and grandpa could participate or choose not to, depending on how they were feeling at the time.

And mom came back and said it was the best trip ever. Did they do every single thing that I suggested? No. That's where I talk about flexibility. I'm giving you ideas. I'm not [00:21:00] giving you an itinerary. And they said it was great, and it was because they thought it through and listened to everybody and thought about everybody rather than just going and hoping it all works.

I love that example. I mean, you would think Disney, it'd be easy to have a good time, but I'm sure it's also easy to get overwhelmed by crowds, by all the people, by all the sites.

Yeah. You know, trying to figure out what to go to. So that's a great example. I love that. And it's really about, well, why are you going?

Are you going to ride every single ride? Are you going to have family time and the happiest place on earth Are you go, what is, what are your intentions and what is your why? And when you can get to that point and you remind them of, remember you're going to have fun as a family, you're not going to, you know, get in line for every single thing.

Then it's when you know that why you can relax.

So that even illustrates that much more. How much family time is [00:22:00] appreciated and benefits them? I, I was thinking, we like with, um, children's books, the reason I write them is because I want the family to be engaged and. Be able to communicate better, be more drawn together.

Mm-hmm.

And again, I see a parallel because you are creating these or helping them create their own trips. That ultimately, hopefully, will be those memories that they cherish for a lifetime. And is that why you think people should travel? Or what do you think, what is the reason you think people should even take trips?

I and again, I focus on families. Mm-hmm. I it's funny that you asked that because I came across a phrase about a year ago, and it has stuck with me. And then I've, I've talked to my daughters about it because they've been tra, we've been traveling as a family since they were born and. It's the happiness anchor.

So creating that happiness anchor for these kids gives them a place that they can return to in their mind that brings them [00:23:00] joy and it's, and for my girls family travel. All the different places we've met, they might have their favorites or their least favorites, but family travel for them is a happiness anchor.

And I know that because I have had conversations with them. My 25-year-old now plans her on vacations. She went to Italy with her girlfriend last summer, and I'm like, are you nervous? She's like, no, you taught me everything I needed to know. I can do this. And they had a great time. My 23-year-old spent five weeks solo in New York City.

Navigating all on her own. We'd been there a few times as kids, but she went up for a work thing and was there for five weeks all by herself. I had the time of her life. I'm like, were you ever nervous? And she's like, no. I wrote so many subways and did so many map reading things with you growing up that I know how to do it.

And so they have that anchor, that happiness anchor of all of these things that they learned, [00:24:00] whether. I specifically taught them, or they were just exposed to growing up. Really, it's, it's also giving them confidence to be able to figure things out. It's like problem solving confidence. I mean, and, and then they have this memory that is a cherished memory that is a positive, confident memory too, so.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's really cool. Yeah. You feel like kids don't have that experience enough or don't know how to navigate life enough. Um, if they don't travel, I think travel provides that, but they can get it in other places. I was a teacher, I was a classroom teacher for 26 years and you know, I saw very confident kids who had never left the state of Virginia.

And then I saw kids that just reacted to the world differently around them. Who had had these vacations to other places. So I'm not saying that travel is the only way to gain confidence and resilience. [00:25:00] It definitely helps it. It provides those kids the opportunity, whether it's a family beach trip every summer to the same place, they're still leaving home and they're still.

Having to solve problems and going on road trips and new restaurants and doing new things, which builds resilience and they, they adapt to change and all of that.

It also gives them so much perspective. I remember traveling, and I don't remember exactly where it was, but we came back and the kids were like, oh, I could live there.

I think it was Arizona. And then we'd go to other places and they're like, oh, I'm never going there again. That that is not a place for me. And same thing like with food, the same thing with staying at places like the older they got, the more opinions they had because of the experiences they had in their pocket.

And yeah. I feel like that's pretty valuable and hard to catch. And so yeah,

it helps them figure out who they are as they're growing up too. I like this. I don't like this. And they're, they're having those experiences as they're growing up, rather [00:26:00] than having those experiences as an adult, they've already sort of started figuring out who am I?

Yeah. I love that. Mm-hmm. Okay. So our listeners are probably wondering how they can get ahold of you, how they can work with you and what you offer people. So would you mind spending a little bit of time telling us about that? 

Yeah, so again, I can do everything virtually, so I can talk to anyone anywhere around the country.

And because I am retired, I have. More availability than most. So I am able to be flexible in scheduling. So I'm, I think I've shared with you my, um, how they can get in touch with me through my email, which is LDRA, hn@comcast.net. They can also find me on social media. And family travel coach. I'm on Instagram and Facebook.

I have a Facebook group. I also have a monthly newsletter that I send out, and so they can get on my newsletter list. I have a [00:27:00] website where they can find me, and all this information is on my website and it is www.seldomadullmoment.com. Seldom a dull moment is the name of my business, because you know, never a dull moment is too busy.

You've got to have time to relax, so seldom, dull moment, and so we gotta have the www in front of it, but seldom a dull moment.com will has all the information about me and where to find me.

Awesome. I love it. And I, I love the name. That's great. That's perfect for what you do. Yes. Yep. So, as your last question, Laura.

Mm-hmm. What if someone is listening right now and they're thinking to themselves, what would be really great to plan a vacation? I really wanna start somewhere. What is something actionable that they could do as soon as they get done listening to us today?

Laura Rahn: So something actionable would be to start in the dream phase and if [00:28:00] they wanted to really be ambitious.

My book, dream Design Depart has everything I've talked about step by step. It is available on Amazon and that dream phase, the first part of vacation planning really needs to center around dreams, bring the whole family to the table if they have, if. The travelers have a voice. They deserve to have an opinion.

Bring the whole family to the table, and where do we wanna go? What do we wanna do? And then ask those hard questions to the kids or to the other travelers. What do you wanna do there? Why do you wanna go there? And force the answers in an approachable, friendly way, and no judgment zone. I'm gonna have big brothers say that that's, that's a bad idea.

Or little sister say, I don't wanna do that. Everyone's sharing and everyone's listening to form that foundation of then navigating through compromise and [00:29:00] flexibility to decide where you wanna go, but you've got to have those initial conversations with every member of the family to get the buy-in and begin the conversations.

Dori Durbin: That's awesome. And the budget, does that have to come second?

Laura Rahn: Yeah, the budget. Truly the budget. The lodging does come afterwards because it's important for mom and dad just to hear from the kids, well, what do you wanna do? Maybe they've gone to the beach for the past 10 years and one of them is just like, I don't wanna go to the beach again.

Well, what do you wanna do? And so really listening and then the budget conversation. If the kids are old enough, they can talk about the numbers with mom and dad and say, well, we really can't do that, or We have to look at it differently because this is how much money we have. So it is, the budget is very important.

I'm not saying that it, but it does need to come after the initial conversation where everyone has a chance just to share their dreams and their hopes and their wishes.

Dori Durbin: Oh, I love it. I can see how that would be so much less stress ultimately at the end of [00:30:00] this whole vacation and really lead to a positive experience for everybody.

Laura Rahn: Yeah. Yeah, and it really, it really does. Parents don't buy into that idea right away, but through the coaching sessions that I've been able to participate in with families. It's amazing what the kids can share when they're asked and given the space to think about it, not rush through, like, well, you don't have anything.

Okay, well, what do you think? Give them the time to really think about it.

Dori Durbin: Love it. Well, listeners, if you wanna know more about what Laura does obviously follow her social media, find her Facebook page, uh, email her, go to the places where you can find Laura on, and if you have any questions for her, I'm sure an email could be answered pretty quickly.

She's nodding her head yes. Yes, it should be. And Laura, any last advice for our listeners?

Laura Rahn: I think the only advice I can give is communication. I mean, that's [00:31:00] what it's all about. To have those memorable family vacations and memorable for a good reason. It's all about communication. Before you even leave the house, get everyone talking.

Get everyone excited. Hear what they're nervous about, hear what they're excited about before you leave. Perfect.

Dori Durbin: Perfect. Laura, thank you so much for today. I can't wait for people to contact you to get a better sense of what you do, and I love what you do. I think, I think we're gonna have to make a vacation through you.

Laura Rahn: I love it. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to just work with anyone and everyone who wants to have that dream vacation. Awesome. Thank you, Laura. Thank you.