[00:00:00.330] - Stacy Canzonieri
So does your photo album read just like a Facebook highlight reel, having just only the happy memories visible? Does your photo album include everyone in your family, especially you, the parent, taking the pictures? Well, I have to admit that this is not an easy task. It has to be an intentional effort on our parts. And the odds of you having pictures of yourself in the photo album are probably as rare as a good hair day. But I will recommend that you would listen to what Stacey Cadinsonary has to say about being a family photographer and the importance of keeping memories that are imperfect. Let's listen in. Hello, and welcome to The Power of Kids Book Podcast, where we believe books are a catalyst for inspiring and empowering change. I'm your host, Dori Durbin. And today we have Stacey Candinari. She's a family photographer, a mama, and also the founder of the Memory Keepers Club. And she's here today to tell us all about the importance of family photos. Welcome, Stacey.

 [00:01:04.090] - Stacy Canzonieri
Thank you so much for having me. This is really exciting. We're big book readers at home.

[00:01:09.430] - Dori Durbin
That's awesome. I love to hear that, obviously. But I also love that you are a professional photographer and have that connection, that visual connection with families. So can you tell me how you got started in doing what you're doing now?

 [00:01:24.760] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah, absolutely. Probably like a lot of moms out there. Like, when I had kids, my first child, my oldest is actually 19, she's about to turn 20. So all those decades ago when I first had her, it was my experience anyway, in the beginning it was sort of lonely, it was overwhelming. I was like one of the first out of my friend group to have kids, so nobody was really going through it at the same time as me. So it was actually my husband who gave me a camera for Christmas one year. And then I loved it. I loved taking pictures of her, like, literally everything that she did. And it wasn't just like the big milestones, like a first smile or first foods or first steps or anything like that. It was little fingers, little toes. It was the way her hair curled. It was all those sort of in between moments, everyday moments that I fell in love with capturing. And then I had two more kids and it just sort of like, grew. The interesting thing is, probably a lot of moms can relate is as the kids get older, they don't want their photos taken as much.

[00:02:36.980] - Stacy Canzonieri
But I have an eleven year age gap between my, well now middle and my youngest, and it sort of like reignited my love of photography and kind of why I got into it in the first place. So it's renewed that passion for me in a way.

[00:02:55.750] - Dori Durbin
That's awesome. It's funny, with my experience, I have two kids and they were closer together and I took a bunch of pictures in the beginning and then got really busy and didn't take the second one. So you really had that passion to continue and develop your art.

[00:03:11.040] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah, I did. And you know what? So many years ago, social media was just coming on the scene and I was taking pictures with a film camera. So I was developing my pictures. And I do feel like once social media came on and I started sharing my pictures, that's sort of when it snowballed, because I got that feedback of, oh, these are so nice. And then, of course, it was, can you take my kids picture? And that's how my business formed. But for all the bad things about social media, for me it was sort of a positive thing because I was connecting with other moms over motherhood and sharing pictures and stuff. So it was nice.

[00:03:51.020] - Dori Durbin
Yeah. And you actually have taken this to the point where you're actually a professional photographer and you have, like you said, the memory Keepers. Can you talk a little bit about that?

[00:04:00.240] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah, so what I'm trying to do with the memory Keepers is really just some of the words that I use are like inspiration, encourage, motivate. Because like you were saying, it gets so busy right when the kids are little and as they're growing, and you're just pulled in a million different directions, especially if you have more than one kid. Right. You're all over the place and it just becomes less of a priority to sort of document your days. You probably pull out a camera for the bigger moments, like holidays or any kind of milestone, like first days of school and birthdays and stuff like that. But I really want to encourage moms to capture more of their everyday because I do feel like photography is very much linked to mindfulness because you kind of have to slow down and you're paying attention to things more and you're noticing things that maybe you wouldn't normally notice. So I'm trying to encourage other moms to do that inside the memory Keepers club. And the other really big thing about that is getting themselves in Photos. I'm sure if you're nodding your head, you're brought in the same as me, too.

[00:05:12.790] - Stacy Canzonieri
If this wasn't like what I did for a living, I probably would not be as good as I am about getting in Photos with my kids. And even though I think I'm good, I still could be way better. But yeah, encouraging moms to get in Photos with their kids because we're always I shouldn't say always, we're usually the ones behind the camera.

 [00:05:31.770] - Dori Durbin
Yeah, it's interesting you say that, because we were just at an event last night and they said, oh, you should probably get in this picture and be part of the picture. And I looked at the person, I was like, what?

 [00:05:43.790] - Stacy Canzonieri
It didn't even occur to you? Right. And it doesn't occur to me at all.

[00:05:47.340] - Dori Durbin
Yeah, and you're right. Those moments that you especially the big ones, but even the small ones, you want those memories. Do you think that a lot of moms, because of the chaos, because of the frazzle, they choose not to be in the pictures? To some extent, too?

[00:06:03.890] - Stacy Canzonieri
I think that's part of it. I think part of it, for me especially, is like insecurities that I have just about half the time I'm in a ponytail or a mom bun, and it's leggings, and I don't have makeup on. If I bring it back to social media for a minute, that's one thing I do sort of think is the negative side of it, because obviously what we're putting out there sort of everybody calls it a highlight reel, right? All the best stuff. So you're seeing moms and kids in pictures, and they're usually made up, or they're dressed nice, or their kids are dressed nice, and that's not reality. Half the time, if I want to wait to get a nice picture of my kids where I have makeup on or I'm dressed nicely or I'm not covered in, I don't know, food stains or something, then it's going to be a very long time before I get.

[00:06:55.430] - Dori Durbin
A picture with my kids.

[00:06:57.270] - Stacy Canzonieri
So hopefully I can encourage other moms to just do it. We don't have to share it, right? We can take the pictures. And the goal is the end game. Like, 2030 years from now, when these kids are looking at when our kids are looking at these pictures and seeing us as moms, like, playing with them and having fun with them, I always am thinking about that. What are my kids going to inherit from me in terms of the photos that they see and the memories that they have of their childhood?

[00:07:34.530] - Dori Durbin
That's like a heart type for me.

 [00:07:36.870] - Stacy Canzonieri
I know. And it's so hard for me to talk about because I know that whoever wants to talk about okay. Or think about when we're gone, what kind of memories are they going to have of us? Yeah, it's a touchy subject, but that is sort of like the purpose behind it all sometimes. I don't know if that's too hard to think about.

[00:08:02.360] - Dori Durbin
I mean, your oldest is close to the age of both my kids, so I have a sophomore in college, and then I have a senior in high school this year, so I'm going through those. Okay, we got one out now. It's the last of this. It's the last thing of this. All the last yeah, I'm fighting it, but I could tear up because you're thinking, okay, I've got all these pictures and all these memories, and yeah, it's just an emotional piece.

[00:08:28.400] - Stacy Canzonieri
It is. It's very emotional, and I think that's why we are always behind the camera, too. I don't know if you agree. I don't know if Dads and oh, gosh, I hope I don't get any hate for this, but have the same emotional connection. I don't know. And maybe that's why they don't think to pick up. And some of them do. I know. Okay, I'm torn here. Some dads do. Some dads maybe don't have the forethought or they just don't think about picking up a camera to capture those moments like we would, I guess.

[00:09:00.970] - Dori Durbin
Yeah. I think it's just a little bit more of that maternal instinct. Definitely. There are dads that are a little bit more queued into that, but most of them are busy. They're not thinking in that respect. I'll try to filter the hate moments there.

[00:09:17.970] - Dori Durbin
Thank you.

 [00:09:18.800] - Dori Durbin
I don't think you should feel bad, though, because I think it's true. It just is a little more natural for us.

 [00:09:23.490] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yes.

 [00:09:24.850] - Dori Durbin
Especially holding on to memories and holding on to things like that. It just tends to come to women a little bit differently.

 [00:09:30.110] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah, I agree.

 [00:09:31.990] - Dori Durbin
So in that same vein, you talked about social media and I think especially having older kids, I think we both have seen this. It's had such a big influence on our kids development and what they see and the perfection piece of things. Do you do anything with that when you're teaching people to take pictures or how do you feel about that?

[00:09:55.790] - Stacy Canzonieri
It's really tricky because on one hand, I think for me as a mom, it helped me in the beginning because I was able to connect with other moms who were sort of going through the same thing. But I'm much older, do you know what I mean? I am not a teenager who is bombarded with and honestly, I feel it sometimes, too, that sort of comparison trap, so it never goes away. It's really difficult to navigate social media, I think about when my five year old is old enough for a phone and all that, is it going to be different? Is it going to be worse? Are we going to allow her to use any of that stuff? I mean, it's nice to have a phone to take photos because it's so accessible, but it could also be really tricky to teach kids how to use it properly and then share it without hurting anyone's feelings. It's really tricky.

[00:10:58.120] - Dori Durbin
I think so, too. I think it's back to those conversations you need to have between you and your kids and setting up some of the guidelines. But yeah, the older they get, the harder it gets.

[00:11:08.140] - Stacy Canzonieri
I think, too, we are we're so bombarded by all these beautiful images. And as a photographer, I want to put that out there. I want to put out the beautiful images and stuff. So it's a balance because I like seeing it, but I do also like seeing the real behind the scenes, you know what I mean? No filters and all that stuff. I'm trying to embrace that aspect of it.

[00:11:36.110] - Dori Durbin
Only on our pictures, right? Just filters on our personal pictures. Okay. So the importance of creativity was one of the things I wanted to talk to you about, and I think that really comes into that imperfection piece of things, too. So how do you see photography as being a creative visual art? And how are you encouraging people? I know you are already, but how do you encourage them to have that creative eye that doesn't need to have that perfection?

[00:12:06.480] - Stacy Canzonieri
Well, it's so interesting because I can see in my daughter and I, when we're sitting down and even if we're just coloring or whatever, she will look at my picture and be like, well, mine doesn't look like yours and I'm not as good as you. And I could see that with taking pictures and stuff and people comparing like we were talking before. But the wonderful thing about photography and any kind of art, and I tell my five year old this, is that there's no right or wrong way to do it. It's your art, so you get to create it any way that you want. And definitely goes for photography. I think it's so nice too, because there's so many different ways to make a beautiful photograph. So I could try to teach you how to see creatively and learn how to use light. But my style of photography might not be something that you're drawn to. Maybe you like really dark and moody photos and I like them bright and airy and all that stuff. So again, with any kind of art, it's so nice to be able to embrace all different styles. And with children, especially teaching them that it's okay to like if you know the rules, then you can break the rules of photography.

[00:13:23.000] - Stacy Canzonieri
I think that's one thing that I like to encourage. I'm going to teach you all this stuff and how you can do it, but you don't have to do it that way. You can break those rules.

[00:13:32.370] - Dori Durbin
Yeah, I think that's what is intimidating to a lot of people when they sit down to do something creative, they feel like because they don't have formal education or they don't have the right tools in their mind, that what they're going to create is going to be subpar and it's not going to be appreciated. Do you see that photography too?
[00:13:53.690] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah, and it should be. And I'm sure with writers, too, how many times they say your first draft is never your best draft, right? So your first photo is never your best photo. You just keep taking them and taking them and taking them. And one of the things as a photographer, they tell you to do to get better is to take on a 365 project. I don't know if you've ever heard of that, but photo every day for a year. So it's getting into the habit of taking a photo. And on some days when you feel like you don't want to pick up your camera, you do it anyway. So you're sort of pushing yourself through that discomfort or feeling like you're not creative and just take the photo anyway because you build that habit and then you start to see or develop like a style, I guess, and see the things that you enjoy taking pictures of. It really is. It's so interesting because you're definitely going to take a million bad photos. But that's the point and that's how you grow. And that's a good thing to teach children as well. It's okay to do something bad in order to grow and get good at it.

[00:15:06.600] - Dori Durbin
Yeah, you have to have those mistakes to even start.

[00:15:10.260] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah.

[00:15:11.810] - Dori Durbin
So when you start kids off with photography, and let's say I'm just a parent who maybe has a phone or maybe they have an official camera, I'm not sure. But how do you encourage them to start and to start to love that experience?

[00:15:28.970] - Stacy Canzonieri
So this, I think also and I was talking about mindfulness before, it also applies to children and is so wonderful because you're teaching them to slow down. They have to look through the camera and see how they want to compose it. They're observing things throughout their day, they're noticing things. So I think it's an awesome medium for kids. And what's also nice is they can do it by themselves. A lot of things you maybe need help with or whatever, but they can go out and do it by themselves. I would just say there's so many decisions that you can make too, even from something as simple as how to hold your camera. Like, are you going to take this picture horizontally? Are you going to take it vertically? Are you going to get up really close? Are you going to stand further back? What do you want to include in the photo? What do you think we should move out of the way for the photo? Yeah, and even just the basic, regardless of what kind of camera you're using, and you don't even need a camera in your hand to pay attention to light.

[00:16:29.250] - Stacy Canzonieri
And that I think is a really great beginning. What's the word I'm looking of? Beginning. Like lesson for kids to learn about light and notice light and see where it's coming from and shadows and all that. I mean, you need light for a photograph. So we always start there.

[00:16:48.770] - Dori Durbin
So really, if they had a phone and they were being supervised, obviously just taking even pictures of their family, their pets, anything like that would be I.

[00:16:58.730] - Stacy Canzonieri
Think what's really fun, too, is if you want to get if parents want to get involved is like giving them a project to do, maybe like have your kids photograph a day in their life. Like set if they're using a phone, let's say set an alarm on their phone for every hour and just when that alarm goes off, take a picture, whatever you're doing. Or give them like a scavenger hunt to do. There's so many fun kids activities to do with the camera. You could do, like photograph the ABCs, photograph the rainbow so that you're stretching your creative muscles and you're also, as a parent, being involved in what they're photographing. And it would be so fun for them to come back and show you, like, here, mom, this is what I did. And then you can talk about the photo that they've taken. So it's a good connecting thing, too. Yeah.

[00:17:49.370] - Dori Durbin
I was just thinking, do you remember, this is aging me a little bit, but being in the car and going for long rides and not having devices and looking for the alphabet on the road or license plates from certain states.

[00:18:03.980] - Stacy Canzonieri
We do that with cars. We do the rainbow all the time. We're looking for all the colors of the rainbow for different cars. That's so funny you say that. Yeah.

[00:18:12.110] - Dori Durbin
So now you just use a camera and capture those same kinds of that's really cool. I love that. What a conversation you could have. Because the writing side of me is like and then they can actually write.

[00:18:23.410] - Stacy Canzonieri
About yeah, they could. And yes, and that would lead to journaling or even like storytelling, because you could tell stories with photos. Let's say they pick up their favorite stuffed animal, because you can do this with really young kids, too. Pick up their favorite stuffed animal and have them tell a story with the pictures and then come back with those pictures. If they're a little bit older, write about it. Or even just talk about their teddy bear went to the park with them and then he went on the swings and I don't know, maybe he fell down or something like that. So, yeah, it works so well with journaling and writing.

[00:18:57.830] - Dori Durbin
That's a really neat idea. Yeah, I just had this vision of a really young child that was very verbal. Even if they couldn't take the pictures themselves, the parents could have them lead them through the story and take pictures and write about it later. That would be really cute down the road.

 [00:19:14.290] - Stacy Canzonieri
And I think with really little kids, too, what's fun is those Instax Polaroid cameras. You have that instant gratification of a photo actually coming out. My kids love that. Those are such a great thing to have.

[00:19:27.380] - Dori Durbin
That would be so fun. Yeah, I love that idea. So before I forget, tell me about your camp, because that's kind of tying into all these ideas, I think.

[00:19:37.780] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yes. So right now it's in person, but I would love to do like an online thing eventually. And it's pretty much everything that we've been talking about, all those ideas about. I'm going to be including a scavenger hunt for the kids to do. How I'm going to plan it is sort of we're going to talk about a lesson, whether it be light or shadows or a composition, which is really just like arranging all the elements in a photo and how you can do that creatively and then go out and practice it. Because I feel like you can talk about it, but you have to go out and practice it too. Yeah, I think it'll be really fun. I'm trying to do ages like seven to twelve, but I do think older kids would be really into it too. Yeah. My high school daughter takes a photography class and I feel just want to shake the teacher sometimes because they don't really do a lot. And I feel like there's so much fun stuff you can do with photography.

[00:20:28.050] - Dori Durbin
Yeah, with the digital application of photography too, you think about you can download it, put it into a program, you could draw on top of it, you could add words. There's all those other components that you can add.

[00:20:42.670] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah, definitely.

[00:20:44.030] - Dori Durbin
Oh, that sounds like a great camp. I want to go. Can I go?

[00:20:47.680] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah. And I've actually even toyed with the idea of doing mom and Me, where you come in together and you're, like, practicing taking pictures on each other, and then that's something that you can take with you and do more of at home. So I think that would be a really fun class to do.

[00:21:06.870] - Dori Durbin
Back when my kids were little, the only thing that we could afford at the time was Sears Portraits. We went to Sears Portraits and they took pictures, and I thought it was so strange at first. They took, like, pictures of the quadrants of their faces and their toes and their fingers, and those were my favorite pictures.

[00:21:28.830] - Stacy Canzonieri
Isn't that interesting?

[00:21:30.040] - Dori Durbin
Yeah, because at the time I thought, well, I just wanted the perfect portraits and they were getting tired and kind of grumpy and so it was kind of the best she could do. But I look at those pictures now and I think they were just like precious. To see their tiny little faces and part of their face and something like that where you had a mom and me type of experience that would be really fun because they're going to pick up and notice things about you and you them later that you'd really appreciate and never really noticed, I guess.

[00:22:02.330] - Stacy Canzonieri
I know I find that so interesting as I get older that I am drawn to those types of out of the ordinary shots more. So I don't know if it has to do with age and being less about perfection and not caring as much. Because sometimes those photos, we have a holiday coming up and of course I'm going to want a picture of all the kids together, but if they're not in the mood or they're not cooperating, I'm probably just going to take it anyway. And then 1015 years down the road, it'll be a story that I can tell. And it will also sort of show off their personalities, their dynamic, as it was at that time. I'm done with trying to force things and trying to make things perfect.

[00:22:49.350] - Dori Durbin
Usually the force pictures end up making everybody grumpy anyway.

[00:22:53.020] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah, so many people use those funny ones as like Christmas cards and stuff.

[00:22:58.540] - Dori Durbin
Yeah, I think those are great. I just love the reality of the picture.

[00:23:02.970] - Stacy Canzonieri
Appreciate that. Because we can all relate, right. Try to get a good picture of your kids all together and it's a disaster.

[00:23:13.070] - Dori Durbin
We tried to do selfies one time for a Christmas card, and I put the phone on the back of the couch and my Great Dane was around at that time, and so we were all focused on trying to keep him sitting. We did the time lapse, quick photos, and no one looked at the camera. I think maybe the Great Dane did, but everybody else was focused on if.

[00:23:32.870] - Stacy Canzonieri
The dog is looking, but nobody at.

[00:23:36.070] - Dori Durbin
The time I was thinking, oh, it's got to be so much better. But it would have been a hilarious Christmas card because people, they would have related totally. Okay, this is a tough question. I apologize for it, but I want to know, so if you were to have parents be equipped and equip their own kids about how photography can enhance their kids lives, okay, what would be a couple of things that you would say that you would want them to know?

[00:24:05.150] - Stacy Canzonieri
I would definitely want parents to know that photography can enhance build up your child's self esteem. For sure. And I've read about this recently. There have even been studies about how kids seeing pictures of themselves at home, like up on the walls, can also help build their esteem. It sort of like lets them know where they fit in the family, lets them know that they're loved. But having them have giving your kids the power of holding the camera in their hands and being able to make decisions about how they want their photo to look and how they feel creative, I just feel like it's such a great self esteem builder now. I think where it gets tricky is when you add in social media to it, right? And then maybe they're sharing these pictures and you get people making not so nice comments then I feel like it might be a little tricky. But if you're a young child or even older, whatever the age is, I do feel like anything that allows you to feel creative can bolster your self esteem. So that would be one thing. And it's also, like I was saying before, an activity that you don't really need a lot to do, sometimes that gets in the way, right?

[00:25:26.320] - Stacy Canzonieri
Whether it's expenses or it's equipment. Just grab your phone, go outside in your backyard. There's not a lot standing in the way of you getting it done unless you give yourself a million excuses. And they can do it by themselves. They don't need necessarily a class or if they're hanging out by themselves, they don't need their friends to be doing it. So they could take the time to reading a book or watching a show, just pick up your phone, go outside and take some pictures.

[00:26:01.010] - Dori Durbin
I'm thinking too, it would really show them their growth and development, too, as being in tune to details. Because I think that's one thing that I know as a parent, I was always like, pay attention to this, pay attention to that. But when they're kind of exploring something new like that, they're even more into details.

[00:26:22.660] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yes. And like we were saying, to the mindfulness aspect of it. Yeah, for sure. Paying attention to all those little details that you might otherwise not notice.

[00:26:34.510] - Dori Durbin
That's amazing. So you're in New Jersey, right? You should be in Michigan. Besides being close to you, where is a good spot for them to find you and connect with you?

[00:26:51.000] - Stacy Canzonieri
So I am always on Instagram. I'm Stacey Mayandco on Instagram. But I also have an email list where I send out if there's people who are interested in photography. I send out an email every Friday. That includes Friday photo tips. So creative, right?

[00:27:08.470] - Dori Durbin
Awesome, though.

[00:27:09.670] - Stacy Canzonieri
Yeah. So email aura. Instagram is where I'm at all the time.

[00:27:14.490] - Dori Durbin
Stacey, this has been just an enjoyable experience and you've given us some great information. I appreciate that. Good.

 [00:27:24.380] - Stacy Canzonieri
Well, thank you.

[00:27:25.210] - Dori Durbin
And we'll make sure that all those links that you've provided are in your list under niece, in the show notes, and we'll just let people reach out to you. I'm sure they will be okay.

 [00:27:35.860] - Stacy Canzonieri
Good. I'm excited

 [00:27:37.810] - Dori Durbin
Thank you so much.