That's Good Parenting
Hello and welcome to "That's Good Parenting". The podcast that searches for simple steps to reduce your parenting stress. Sometimes those days of feeling like a "good parent" can feel few and far between.
And like you, I personally have struggled with parenting frustration, exhaustion, and even guilt. But I also know that there are solutions out there that we could put to use today.
My name is Dori Durbin.
It's my mission to search with you to find simple steps and tools to create confident and resilient kids-- without losing ourselves in the process.
You may be wondering who I am. I'm a former teacher, coach and fitness instructor turned children's book author and illustrator, as well as a book and parenting abundance coach.
More importantly, I'm a Christian wife and mom of two amazing young adults who, have quite uniquely put me through the parenting ringer myself. I've been fortunate enough to have interviewed hundreds of experts, parents and authors who have all created parenting tools that have your family's best interest at heart.
So let's stick together to find fast and effective solutions that fit our particular parenting problems. So that we can end war of our days cheering out: Now "That's Good Parenting!"
That's Good Parenting
075 Can I Still Pursue My Goals With Kids at Home? with Kesley Smith
Listen to this episode, "Can I Still Pursue My Goals With Kids at Home? with Kesley Smith" as Mom, app founder, wife, community leader, and ever-evolving human, Kelsey Smith joins Dori Durbin.
What legacy will you leave behind as a parent? Entrepreneur Kelsey Smith was jolted into rediscovering her purpose after an emergency surgery. What would she leave behind? Kelsey shares her experiences about pursing dreams, getting creative about obstacles, and surrounding yourself with support. Hear how Kelsey created the "Momma Has Goals" app and community to help busy moms take steps of personal growth.
- Complications After Childbirth: The Epiphany
- The Legacy You'll Leave Behind
- Grace to Evolve Over Time
- Redefine What Taking Action Looks Like
- Allow Yourself to Dream Big
- From "I Can't" into "How Can I?"
- Momma Has Goals App
- Being Healthy
About Kelsey:
After the complicated delivery of her first son, Kelsey realized that while she had accomplished many "goals", they weren't goals that brought her fulfillment.
As she woke up from surgery she wondered if she hadn't woken up, what story would she leave behind?
Would her children know what brought her joy? What she stood for? This experience led Kelsey to her own journey of fulfillment and self-discovery where she had the massive realization that this feeling was far too common for mothers all over the world. Kelsey knew she needed to normalize moms having big dreams + making their own fulfillment a priority, so she created a space that helped women and mothers do just that.
Through her community, the Momma Has Goals phone app, events, and programs Kelsey leads women to live the life of their dreams for themselves and their families with the mission to help all current and aspiring mommas find their highest selves in and outside of motherhood.
Follow Kelsey:
Insta: @mommahasgoals / @thisiskelseysmith
Podcast: Apple / Spotify
Web: www.mommahasgoals.com / www.thisiskelseysmith.com
FB: Momma Has Goals
Did you love this episode? Discover more here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thats-good-parenting/id1667186115
More about Dori Durbin:
Dori Durbin is a Christian wife, mom, author, illustrator, and a kids’ book coach who after experiencing a life-changing illness, quickly switched gears to follow her dream. She creates kids’ books to provide a fun and safe passageway for kids and parents to dig deeper and experience empowered lives. Dori coaches aspiring authors to “kid-size” their content into engaging kids’ books! https://doridurbin.com/
Buy Dori's Kids' Books:
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Dori-Durbin/author/B087BFC2KZ
Thinking about writing a kids' book? Book a Chat with Dori:
https://api.le
Intro for TDP (version 2)
[00:00:00] Kelsey Smith: And I think that we really do ourselves a disservice as a society. To think that one, someone else knows what our life is supposed to look like and two, that we aren't supposed to change our mind. I think what helps me do this is looking at my kids.
[00:00:14] Dori Durbin: Hey moms, did you once have a big life dream, but you put it on hold because you had kids and you're so busy taking care of your family. And yet, perhaps your heart and mind are still wishing that you had extra time, energy, and motivation to get back to those old goals.
If that's how you're feeling, then this episode is for you. Today, my guest. And I will talk about how moms can adjust their own goals, especially when dealing with changes in the schedule and interest of their kids. How they can tackle obstacles with a creative mindset. How they can form their own personal toolbox for growth. and so much more tune in next.
Today's guest [00:01:00] is a mom. The founder of mama has goals. A wife and ever evolving human. After a major life event, she was startled into a new awareness, one that made her question. What story would she leave behind? She also realized that many moms were slightly confused. and feeling the same way. They were losing a sense of their once big dreams. Now my guest is inspiring other moms to discover their higher selves. Welcome to the show. Kelsey Smith.
[00:01:30] Kelsey Smith: Thank you so much for having me, Dori.
[00:01:32] Kelsey Smith: I'm so excited to be here.
[00:01:34] Dori Durbin: I am so excited to talk to you about so many things, and we've already decided we're going to have to talk fast, so we're going to cram it in there. The audience can tell that you're a high achieving mom, you've done all kinds of stuff, you're a caring mom, you're helping other moms. Before all of this, before your kids, what were your big dreams then?
[00:01:54] Kelsey Smith: Yeah, I'll actually take it back to high school because I think that's where the biggest shift was. I would say I've [00:02:00] always been semi high achieving. I always call it kind of this bobblehead of high achieving. I would go in balance of wanting to be the best of everything to then barely graduating high school.
[00:02:11] Kelsey Smith: And the reason that that really took shape for me looking back is I was so lost and I was just even then, what is this worth? What is this for? Why am I doing this? And so shout out to any parents with high school kids because it is rough for both of you, but also just allowing them to know what doesn't feel good and what does mentorship that was available because I think that would have really helped me.
[00:02:41] Kelsey Smith: But it played into once I graduated high school, really getting curious in what life was supposed to be about. And those first couple years were really challenging. I really struggled with depression and anxiety. And again, on the outside, I was this popular captain of the dance team in honors classes, [00:03:00] but I was barely making it to the school because I didn't see the purpose.
[00:03:03] Kelsey Smith: I didn't see the point. So that really struggled, but I knew I was supposed to do something else. So I found myself in college, went to school for business and marketing, always knew I wanted to go to school for business, but no idea what I wanted to do. And I always joke that when people know what they're going to school for, let's say they know they want to be a doctor and they know they want to be a lawyer.
[00:03:24] Kelsey Smith: They know they want to go to school for business. A lot of people will say, Oh, that's so great. You know what you want to do. No, they know what they want to go to school for because those are really broad things to get into. So then when you leave, you're like, okay, I have a business degree. Now what am I going to do?
[00:03:40] Kelsey Smith: I could do so many different things. I'm a doctor. I mean, you eventually have to figure it out when you're still in school, but you have so many different choices within the medical field to make that decision, right? And so I found myself really curious on what that was going to look like. I ended up in Napa, California.
[00:03:57] Kelsey Smith: And so I found myself in the wine [00:04:00] industry, which I loved, but I had followed this path of really just kind of like checking boxes. I knew I wanted a family. I knew I wanted to buy a house. I knew I wanted a good job that was going to pay bills. I didn't necessarily grow up with Matched income. I worked since I was 15.
[00:04:18] Kelsey Smith: So having a strong background in a job was really important to me. So I checked boxes. So I would say it wasn't that I wasn't overachieving. I knew I had to hit certain boxes for success, but it didn't necessarily come super easily. It was more of a this has to happen to survive and to hit a version of success that we know we want in life to be able to sustain life for our family.
[00:04:43] Kelsey Smith: So that was really the first chapter, was overcoming that, getting into a good job, and then I was like, okay, we made it to this part.
[00:04:51] Kelsey Smith: It's interesting to listen to you because I think this is a process that a lot of You started with high schoolers. High schoolers definitely feel that and you have this [00:05:00] path that you're like, I'm absolutely sure this is what I'm going to do.
[00:05:03] Kelsey Smith: And it's almost like you have this obligation to the people that have heard what your plans are to complete. And if you don't complete that, then you failed somehow in some way. Rather than saying, I'm actually going to pursue this that fills me and makes me feel complete. And again, that mom's struggle, it's a parallel type of struggle.
[00:05:24] Kelsey Smith: So yeah, it is so hard and I love that you bring that up because I think regardless of whether it is if it's the high school or going into college or the college student that's graduating and realizing they don't want to do what they went to school for, or the mom that finds that or the parent that finds themselves, post children struggling with an identity shift, it happens.
[00:05:45] Kelsey Smith: And I think that we really do ourselves a disservice as a society. To think that one, someone else knows what our life is supposed to look like and two, that we aren't supposed to change our mind. I think when you can get your brain to [00:06:00] understand that we are evolving humans, and what really helps me do this, because it's so hard for yourself, but what helps me do this is looking at my kids.
[00:06:08] Kelsey Smith: And when I say, okay, of course my two year old wouldn't have the same dreams and goals as my 17 year old. Obviously, they're going to evolve. They're going to want different things. They're going to go through seasons and one year they might like cars and the next year they're going to be into books or robotics or , whatever they're into at that time.
[00:06:25] Kelsey Smith: Why would we expect that to stop for us once we hit a certain age? Why would we expect to just no longer have new seasons or new passions or dreams or hobbies? And I think when we realize that we often do that as adults, it's kind of silly. And we have to go back and be like, why do we do that? And just allow ourselves to evolve because it doesn't just stop one day.
[00:06:50] Dori Durbin: That's great advice. I think that brings up a really interesting point too, because I think that In general, adults included there's the sense [00:07:00] that we can not do something to a high level,
[00:07:02] Dori Durbin: like, we need to pull ourselves back, especially as moms, I think, because we tend to be the vision is self sacrificing.
[00:07:09] Dori Durbin: We're going to do everything for our kids and our husbands and everything for other people. And there are these obstacles that we put in front of ourselves that we say, no, we can't do this. Do you run into that with moms where you see some of the common obstacles that they face that they're afraid to push?
[00:07:25] Kelsey Smith: Yeah. I was just talking to a mom last night, even, and she's trying to decide if she's going to go back to work or stay home with her kids right now. And I just played a game with her. I was like, okay what does it look like if you make this decision? And her statement was I can't do both.
[00:07:38] Kelsey Smith: I need to go all in and I think that's such a disservice that we do to ourselves because it doesn't all in can mean so many different things and doing things both. is a blessing, but you get to decide what both is. So in that example, maybe it's part time care. Maybe it's working with the kids home.
[00:07:59] Kelsey Smith: There's [00:08:00] so many different versions of both. If I could give anyone any skill set in life, it would be having a problem solver mindset. I think that has served me so, so well, in any situation. If you can come to, some people call it toxic positivity, I choose not to label it that way, because I want to see the real results, but allow yourself to say, okay, what could a solution look like?
[00:08:25] Kelsey Smith: If I don't think I could do it this way, what could a possible solution look like? And if I just took one step, and let's say you're trying to pursue a business or a bigger dream or a bigger goal, and you're like, I just can't do that right now. I would love for you to just ask yourself, okay, what if I took one step now and it took me 10 years?
[00:08:47] Kelsey Smith: Then 10 years from now, I would be pretty happy I got started, right? And so often we are looking at such short, periods of time for success. And then when that long period of time [00:09:00] passes, we realized that entire time we could have been pursuing what we wanted to. So give yourself the opportunity to remeasure success.
[00:09:08] Kelsey Smith: And if you're feeling like, I can't do this, or I have all these other things,
[00:09:13] Kelsey Smith: often moms are so busy with all the activities of their children. And they're like, well, after school, I have all these things. We don't even get home till 8 o'clock at night. That's great, but what if you could commit 20 minutes while you're at practice to doing whatever you needed to do on your phone?
[00:09:27] Kelsey Smith: You could, be a little unpresent for 20 minutes while they're in huddles or whatever it is. And then you could step away and, a couple months or years from now, your kids are going to be doing other things as much as we want to think that they're going to be sitting with us forever
[00:09:43] Kelsey Smith: they're not. So if you know that you can only put in so much time now, know that it in the future. And that time will be a trade off in different ways. Then when you're in the car with your kids, though I've heard from parents with older kids, that is the most important time to be present, [00:10:00] to be listening to the conversations that are happening in the car and being there for that, but allowing yourself to understand it could look different in the meantime.
[00:10:08] Kelsey Smith: So just to recap that, redefine success for yourself and redefine what taking action looks like because you can tell yourself all day all the reasons you can't, and some of them are very real. And some of them are very true and I'll never tell you you're not busy or you don't have a lot of commitments, but you also have the ability to remeasure what success could look like, take some baby steps towards whatever it is that you want to do.
[00:10:32] Kelsey Smith: And it doesn't have to be pursuing a business or a career plan or anything like that. Your goal could be that you want to get your nails done once a month. Like, okay, how do you make that work? How do you make time for that? How do you find the money for it? The time, because it takes a long time to get your nails done and be able to sit aside and do that.
[00:10:49] Kelsey Smith: So that would be the advice I would give someone if they're just feeling like they can't take a step, re measure what that step looks like and remind yourself that even if it took 10 years, you're going to be [00:11:00] really happy you got started.
[00:11:01] Dori Durbin: No, it's interesting that you bring the nails up because I think that's something that a lot of moms think of as a luxury item.
[00:11:08] Dori Durbin: Yeah. And other moms think of no, this
[00:11:10] Dori Durbin: absolutely has to happen. It's a necessity, yeah. Yeah. And, but you're right though, like figuring out and taking a step towards it. Is going to probably give you a lot of confidence to continue to take steps towards other bigger goals that are in your mind or other necessities that, that you really limit yourself to do.
[00:11:29] Dori Durbin: So that's great advice. I love the game idea too. I think that, what's going to happen in 10 years kind of thing, because we do tend to limit ourselves to a month, a week, whatever the most foreseeable goal
[00:11:40] Kelsey Smith: is. Yeah, there is this hard balance of being present in life, right?
[00:11:45] Kelsey Smith: Unfortunately, no one is promised tomorrow, as hard as that may be to recognize. And so we want to be present and really make the best of each day. But we all have hard days, we all have good days, and we all have a future [00:12:00] that we intend to plan for. So you really do have to allow yourself to find this balance of what am I really focusing on today?
[00:12:08] Kelsey Smith: And how can I be present and grateful and aware of my life that I currently have. That is something I probably wished for one day. And also how can I focus on where I want to go and just take one step a day.
[00:12:22] Dori Durbin: It's awesome. Now, speaking of that, you had a surgery that was a life changer for you and gave you a different perspective.
[00:12:31] Dori Durbin: Could you share some of that with us and just how that was a mindset shift for you?
[00:12:35] Kelsey Smith: Yeah. You asked, have I always been achieving these things? And no, not exactly, right? We talked about that. And when I give this advice, it comes from having this experience and really shifting what my life was going to look like.
[00:12:51] Kelsey Smith: And so after my first son was born, I had complications with my delivery, but I didn't figure it out until almost a year later. So about a year later, I had a [00:13:00] planned surgery and then an emergency surgery two weeks after that. And I woke up in the emergency room. All in all, I was fine, but I had this just unshakeable feeling and this question that was in my head, it was really kind of this out-of-body experience, to be honest.
[00:13:15] Kelsey Smith: And I just kept sitting there and was like, what would've happened if I hadn't made it through that? And I, it is just my personality that I'm gonna plan out. Like I'm probably gonna plan my funeral for my family and be just be like this, not because I don't. I don't care what they do, but because I want people to feel relaxed and be able to operate in a more efficient manner.
[00:13:36] Kelsey Smith: But for me, I was just like, okay, what would have happened if I hadn't made it through that? We have a one year old. What would that have actually played out as and looked like? And the question that just kept coming up was, what would he have known about me? He wouldn't remember me.
[00:13:49] Kelsey Smith: So what are the stories that would have been told? And it wasn't that I was worried that there were bad stories or anything like that, but I had this realization that all of the stories, as good as they [00:14:00] may be, didn't really speak to me or my heart or what I wanted to pursue or what my goals were. And what I realized is he would have a stamp in time of who I was and I had young, I had kids pretty young.
[00:14:14] Kelsey Smith: So that was only such a small portion of my life that I intended it to be. And so I just really got curious to myself of like, how can I. talk more about what I want to pursue and what I want to do, even if I'm not there yet. And I didn't know what those things were. That was the tricky part. I don't even know what I want to pursue or what I want to do.
[00:14:37] Kelsey Smith: So how would I tell other people about it? And I got really curious on what my values were, what my personal goals were as a human, not of achievements that I wanted to do, but what type of person did I want to be for the rest of my life? And what did I want to be known for? for. And when people explained me on that day, what would they say?
[00:14:58] Kelsey Smith: This is what, this is who [00:15:00] Kelsey was. And I didn't want it to be my job that I did. And I didn't want it to be the accomplishments that I had had or that I was a nice person. I wanted it to be like really clear, like these are the things she was really passionate about. And at that time I was like, people are going to say sushi, champagne and dance parties and our kids, that's what I love to do.
[00:15:19] Kelsey Smith: And that is still true, but I really felt that I needed to know for myself, what are these bigger things that you want to pursue? And that's where Mama Has Goals came from is at the end of the day, when I spent about a year trying to figure out what this was. My first step was I felt like I had to get my life together, so we had, at the time, a very unorganized room in our house, and I'm still not, The most organized person in the world.
[00:15:43] Kelsey Smith: But I knew that I had to declutter certain things so that I could let in the ability for me to be clear on what I wanted to achieve. So if you're in a place where you're feeling like your home is chaotic, and you're also feeling like your dreams or your aspirations are unsettled, Life is just feeling chaotic.
[00:15:59] Kelsey Smith: That's where I'd [00:16:00] start, is just allow yourself to clean a couple things up so that you have space to think and be able to breathe in your own life. And then I just got really curious. I did a ton of exploration, a ton of research, and just allowed myself to think of all the different things my life could look like.
[00:16:18] Kelsey Smith: And from that, I found all these amazing resources, and I allowed myself to dream again. And not that I had intentionally stopped, and I think that's what so many parents resonate with, is we don't intentionally stop dreaming, but we realize that we're executing life every day. And we have that filter of this is what life has to do today that we don't allow ourselves to be unreasonable, if you will, with what it is that we want to accomplish because we have other people relying on us and jobs we have to show up to and things we have to do.
[00:16:50] Kelsey Smith: So I allowed myself to be unreasonable and was like, if I were to do anything, what would I do? And I still was working full time. I had a full time job, I was doing on top of all of this, but [00:17:00] I just knew that that wasn't bringing me passion and desire. And I kept coming back to that question of, what story would you leave behind?
[00:17:08] Kelsey Smith: And then this was a whole year, so we'll speed forward, but there was one thing that stood out in the middle of this, once I started doing this, I started feeling really guilty that I didn't appreciate what I already had. And I think that's also really common, is when you start getting into this place, you're like, okay, but I should be grateful for what I already have.
[00:17:27] Kelsey Smith: And so this mantra that I say for myself is gratitude doesn't negate desire. And so I would be really, really clear that I was really grateful for what I had. And I was trying to be present as much as I could be every day. But I also knew that I needed to focus on where I wanted to go to be able to build where.
[00:17:47] Kelsey Smith: I wanted our family and myself to be able to look back on and be like, you did it, you achieved this. And again, that can be mental health, that can be spending more time together playing board games, or that can [00:18:00] be These bigger goals of, and I don't even like calling them bigger goals because to me they really are all equal, but if you feel like you're not pushing like your self to what you are looking to achieve, then push yourself, but that could be so many different things, whatever it is, I don't think that everyone has to go pursue what on paper looks like a huge goal.
[00:18:22] Kelsey Smith: If your huge goal is that you guys sit down and eat dinner every night, Or that you play a board game once a week, that's beautiful. Like what a great life, right? So allow yourself to just be really flexible in what success looks like for you. Going back to that, but waking up transitioned into me, figuring it out finding all these resources and goals.
[00:18:41] Kelsey Smith: And I just really knew that I wasn't alone in this. And I wanted to help other women pursue whatever it is that was on their heart. And I had just had my second baby at the time, and so I'd spent a lot of time under little humans. And so that is where the phone app came to be, as I said, I only have one [00:19:00] hand.
[00:19:00] Kelsey Smith: I know a lot of other parents will only have one hand, so we're gonna figure out how to make this work. And again, I was, in a full time job, had no idea what I was doing, but it allowed me to play again, and have fun, and have something I was really passionate about.
[00:19:14] Dori Durbin: So, okay, first of all, this is amazing because I think your story has so many pieces that people would really resonate with and having some of those feelings.
[00:19:26] Dori Durbin: The second thing, I'm envisioning you figuring out this app and apps are
[00:19:31] Dori Durbin: complicated, you have to really think about how they work and what you're going to include and who it's going to affect. So how did you figure out what was going to even be on your app or who this was really for?
[00:19:42] Kelsey Smith: Yeah, and so at that time I was really building what I wanted, and I really wanted what I call now the filing cabinet.
[00:19:50] Kelsey Smith: I wanted to be able to go into a platform, search for the things that I was desiring to achieve in my life, and find resources to help me get there. And [00:20:00] that is really where the app started and began. And so what that looked like was me figuring out how to create this resource vault. And I wanted real people behind it.
[00:20:10] Kelsey Smith: That was the thing that I wanted that was different. Is what I noticed is I was searching things on Google or Pinterest, and I was getting a lot of documents or a lot of links, but I didn't really, it felt very messy to me. And I ended up with just information overload, but not really clear, actionable steps to take.
[00:20:30] Kelsey Smith: So I wanted to create a framework that someone could come in and search how to write a resume and they would get a clear resume template and a person that could help them if they needed help. And so that is really where that started. And then I also wanted it to expand and just whatever your goals were.
[00:20:48] Kelsey Smith: So we have, organizing. So, 10 steps you can take in your home to organize today. And then a organizing professional that can help you if you need help into business or parenting. We have, [00:21:00] a 5 day guide to More peaceful parenting, things like that, where you can go in and watch that and take what works for you and your family.
[00:21:08] Kelsey Smith: I strongly believe every family is different and there's very few things that there's one right answer on. But you can take a piece of that and figure out what is right for your household. And if it resonates with you, you have a person to go to, to support you if you need more support. So really we feature these other resources and guides to be able to help women and that was the core of where it started.
[00:21:31] Kelsey Smith: It's now expanded into more like so many things do, but when it started as just that, I just got really curious trying to figure out the technology. I don't have a tech background. I have worked with like marketing systems. So I had worked in things that were not very close, but enough that I had talked to a developer before.
[00:21:52] Kelsey Smith: I had had a conversation with a developer before. And I just knew I could figure it out. I said, if it takes me ten years, it takes me ten years. I [00:22:00] didn't have a fund to bring in a whole tech team to start an app. And so, my way of taking on that goal was, I'm going to do it in the way that I can.
[00:22:11] Kelsey Smith: It would look very different if someone else was coming in with a bunch of investors and they were building something like TikTok or Instagram and they were going to bring in a whole team of developers. I didn't have that opportunity, but I knew I was going to do what I could with what I had available to me.
[00:22:29] Kelsey Smith: And so that looked like doing a lot of research and spending nights after the kids went to bed, talking to developers in the U. S. and also in other countries and figuring out. How could I build it? And making it as what could success look like? And I think with anything, again, that problem solver mindset.
[00:22:48] Kelsey Smith: of just saying, okay, how could I do this by myself? What could that look like? And there's a lot of different ways to build an app and we probably don't need to get into that here, but there's different ways to make it completely coded versus [00:23:00] pulling a couple things together, using different templates.
[00:23:03] Kelsey Smith: So you can make it easier on yourself if you want to. And I just wanted to get something off the ground. I knew I could always make it better down the road.
[00:23:11] Dori Durbin: Again, that growth mindset too. It's that. Get
[00:23:14] Dori Durbin: it done, get it started and then perfect it as you go. So with your app, I'm just curious, like if I was to hop on there and I decided, okay, I'm going to let Kelsey help me.
[00:23:26] Dori Durbin: I want, I have goals. I want to figure out how to do XYZ. What would that experience be like onboarding and using it?
[00:23:35] Kelsey Smith: Yeah. So the app is free for moms to download and use. And there's. A welcome dashboard that walks you through all the different features and there are kind of different components that I say you can use on your own, and then you can engage with others.
[00:23:50] Kelsey Smith: And so the things you can do on your own is we have a daily check in for you to fill in just. To set your brain right for the day. We have a lot of moving parts going on, especially [00:24:00] as parents. So giving yourself, it takes less than 90 seconds to just check in with yourself each day. How are you feeling?
[00:24:06] Kelsey Smith: What is your goal for the day? What is a priority that you have and is it a good day or not? Because I believe that it's okay to have bad days, but allow yourself to switch it. So we have a daily check in, also an evening reflection. We have some journal prompts, some things that you can take your action on.
[00:24:23] Kelsey Smith: Then the filing cabinet is this resource vault where you can go search by any word or you can look into the different categories and you'll find the different women to support you. I do have some of my own in there. So when you say like you want Kelsey to support you, there's certain things that I focus on, but there's things that I'm not an expert on, right?
[00:24:40] Kelsey Smith: I'm trying to figure out those too. And we have other women featured for that. So you would click on the page and whatever it is that you're looking to learn about, you'll be able to take immediate action. There's a free guide of some sort on every page, and you can take action on that. And if you need additional support, all the contact information [00:25:00] for the person's on there, so you can reach out to them if you need more.
[00:25:03] Kelsey Smith: Or you can take what's there and start that with that. And then we have groups and communities and pods. What I realized is there was a lot of support for moms as soon as they have babies and never enough, right? But there's a lot of Facebook groups for new moms or in the postpartum stage. But then what I noticed is moms were getting into kids that were like 7 to 13 and they were feeling really alone.
[00:25:28] Kelsey Smith: They didn't really have. anyone to talk to or support. They were navigating these things like puberty and conversations for the first time and they were like, I don't know who to talk to or what to do. It's the first time I've done this. And so I wanted to help bring moms of this similar seasons together.
[00:25:45] Kelsey Smith: So we have pods based off of age of children. In groups, so you can connect with moms like you and then also special considerations in your household. So whether you have kids that have different disabilities, or you're a single mom, you're navigating different things in your house [00:26:00] that someone might not be able to relate to.
[00:26:02] Kelsey Smith: There's a group. special for you. So you can go and talk to those people like that. And that's a newer component to the app, but we're really excited about it. And that's really the core of what it looks like. There's a couple other features, but those are like the core three pillars of for you to be able to take action on.
[00:26:19] Kelsey Smith: And beyond that, yes, we have a podcast. Now we've done apps events, we've done meetups, and we've been able to really expand the community. But the app is, something I'm really passionate about because I think every mom should feel supported in their journey and I don't. You think that until you're a mom, you can understand how crazy it is to be responsible for little humans and have like absolutely no guidebook or handbook on how to take action.
[00:26:48] Kelsey Smith: And I think every household is different, so there never will be a handbook. But I think allowing yourself to have tools, I like to think of it more as a toolbox. And you can figure out which tools you need for your [00:27:00] job and pulling that in. Is really where success lies to make life feel a little more calm at times that it might not.
[00:27:08] Kelsey Smith: Oh, that's great.
[00:27:09] Dori Durbinn: I wish there was a book that did that. I told you. Yeah. Grew with your family, but you're right. Every situation is so different and the demands on parents are, especially moms are, is quite a bit different.
[00:27:23] Kelsey Smith: Yeah, and every kid is different, like your household could be the same and you'll have a totally different experience with a secondary child.
[00:27:30] Kelsey Smith: And so allowing yourself again to just, I think, have tools to be able to say, okay, this is what I'm experiencing, what kind of tool can help me with this. And finding the people that are experts in that, I think, when you allow yourself to understand, you are not meant to be an expert about everything.
[00:27:46] Kelsey Smith: So figure out what it is that you're passionate about and what you can, the word expert's really hard for people to take on as a label, but what are the things that you like to talk about or you like to pursue? And let those be your [00:28:00] things and find people to support you in the things that aren't yours.
[00:28:03] Kelsey Smith: And then you can, again, Get those tools and they can become part of you, you can grow, you can learn, and you can then have them as part of your expertise, but that's what learning is, right, but to be able to allow yourself to just not know everything and go find people that can help you.
[00:28:21] Dori Durbin: That's great. That's great. I was going to ask you how you would recommend setting goals, but I think you just said it is finding your expertise and really digging in and seeing what you love. Is that the advice you would give someone?
[00:28:34] Kelsey Smith: Yeah, I think, rather than finding your expertise, like finding your desires, right?
[00:28:39] Kelsey Smith: Because you're, you can be really good at something. I think back when I was in my job, I was really good at it. I wasn't excited about it. I wasn't passionate about it. Right. And so you may want to shift your expertise. And so when it comes to goals, I think about your desires and break down that desire and match it with [00:29:00] your vision and your values for your life.
[00:29:02] Kelsey Smith: And then you have a roadmap of where you want to go. So if you say, this is who I am or who I want to be. And this is why, know why you want to be that type of thing or person, and then this is the first step I would take to get there. And, people do get tripped up by the word goals all the time.
[00:29:21] Kelsey Smith: They're like, I just want to focus on where I'm at, or I don't like when my employer asks me what's my five year goal. Allow yourself to redefine what goals means for you. And for me, I actually think of it more as milestones. And so if you said, okay, this year, a milestone for me personally would be this.
[00:29:39] Kelsey Smith: And it could be like waking up at a certain time every day or putting on something that makes you feel good in the morning or drinking more water. Like they can be so simple, but they are important for your long term life. And so think about, what are the things that you need and desire in your life right now?
[00:29:57] Kelsey Smith: Is it financial prosperity? [00:30:00] Is it fulfillment? Is it health? What are the things that you desire in your life? How can you set milestones to achieve a version of success in them? So if you were like, okay, health is a goal of mine right now. It's something I'm always working on. It's probably where I need the most work in my life to be able, if I were like, okay, health is a goal.
[00:30:19] Kelsey Smith: I'm going to be a bodybuilder. That would be maybe an unrealistic goal. And it doesn't align with actually what I want to do. Right? So for someone else, that could be a goal, but that's not my goal. My goal is. to move my body on a regular basis and to make movement a part of our family culture to be able to be active.
[00:30:37] Kelsey Smith: So I can say all those things, but what does that actually look like? Is it us taking a family walk once a week? Is it me getting up in the middle of the day? What does that actually look like and break it down to those milestones?
[00:30:50] Dori Durbin: Awesome. Awesome. I have a feeling your app can help us do that.
[00:30:55] Kelsey Smith: Yeah, and you know we're adding resources all the time and we always love to know what type of [00:31:00] resources are you looking for.
[00:31:00] Kelsey Smith: So definitely go download it, check it out let us know what you're looking for. But it really is to get your brain moving and help you take the first step.
[00:31:11] Dori Durbin: Now where can they find your app?
[00:31:13] Kelsey Smith: Anywhere you download apps from, so Google play or Apple store. You can just type in mama M O M M A has goals and download it from there.
[00:31:22] Dori Durbinn: Awesome. And what if they want to get ahold of you, Kelsey? Where can they do that easily?
[00:31:26] Kelsey Smith: Yeah, you can find me on Instagram either at mama has goals as well, or this is Kelsey Smith. Shoot me a message. Let me know a takeaway or a question you have. From today. And of course, like screenshot this episode, share it with anyone that you think it would impact both Dori and I would love that and see what really resonated with you.
[00:31:45] Dori Durbin: Oh, Kelsey.
[00:31:46] Dori Durbin: Thank you so much for your heart for moms and helping them find their personal purpose. And just for your time today, talking with us,
[00:31:53] Kelsey Smith: of course, thank you so much for having me.
[00:31:56] Dori Durbin: Thank you.