082 How to Heal Your Trauma Before It Affects Your Kids with Occam Wood

[00:00:00] Occam Wood: They can take a group of fleas and put them in a jar with a lid on. And for two days, the fleas jump and they'll hit the top of the jar, and then eventually they'll stop jumping because they don't want to hurt themselves anymore.

[00:00:10] Occam Wood: You can take the lid off the jar and they will not jump any higher than the jar. Now that makes sense because they've been trained, right? But three generations later, their offspring will still only jump as high as their parents without the awareness that they can jump higher. That's crazy. And that is how we live our lives. 

[00:00:29] Dori Durbin: Big T or little t trauma is very real and a powerful limiting force in people's lives. Our traumas as parents though, they couldn't affect our kids lives, right? 

[00:00:41] Dori Durbin: Listen today as I chat with energetic health practitioner, trauma recovery facilitator, Reiki master, and certified abundance coach, Occam Wood. We'll talk about energy fields. And Can a parent who has unresolved trauma negatively affect their kids? If so, what can they do to stop that [00:01:00] from occurring?

[00:01:02] Dori Durbin: Occam survived his own generational path of physical abuse and addiction to create a new life of compassion, gratitude, and unconditional love. He also created his own healing method. He calls it trauma, transmutation, and soul integration, or TTSI. Listen next to hear all of these answers and so much more.

[00:01:24] Dori Durbin: So, Occam, I know that some people really don't understand what energies are or what people talk about when they talk about energies. So, when you talk about an energy body creating a physical body, exactly what does that mean? 

[00:01:39] Occam Wood: Yeah, so the short version is basically, and there's a lot of scientific proof for this, right?

[00:01:44] Occam Wood: So you can look up people like Rupert Sheldrake in the morphogenetic field. There's a couple other people that talk about the source field. David Wilcock talks about a source field investigation. So those are a couple things that you can look into to get more of a scientific provings of these things.[00:02:00] 

[00:02:00] Occam Wood: But the basic, my basic understanding and belief is that our spirit, you know, our soul, our higher self, Is constantly condensing down energy into matter to create this three dimensional body that we can ride in and have this experience, right? We incarnate to have a life of pleasure and pain and hot and cold and all these things.

[00:02:18] Occam Wood: And so what I've seen, and what has been proven a lot of different ways is that the energy is flowing into the body and you may have heard of chakras or meridian lines, right? These are some of the ancient words that were used to talk about this energy chi prana, these kinds of things. These are the energy of life.

[00:02:36] Occam Wood: I like to say it's the same thing that makes the sunshine and the grass grow. This unseen energy that has an effect on something else. And so as that is coming into our body, it is actually informing us of truth of the universe, right? And unfortunately, our ego space actually lives Outside of our body.

[00:02:57] Occam Wood: And some people would call this subconscious thoughts [00:03:00] or conscious thoughts, right? We know that there's programming in there that we don't know and some we do. And so basically the energy is coming into the body and it goes through this field, which I call the ego field. And it's where everything that we believe is.

[00:03:12] Occam Wood: Because our brain is not a transmitter, right? There's a lot of science that shows our brain is not a transmitter, it's actually a receiver. And what it's receiving is this universal frequency. And when that universal frequency comes through a belief system then it informs us of that belief, right?

[00:03:28] Occam Wood: The best example I can give is if you are raised in a family that is very safe and secure, Then you're going to create a belief system that I am safe and I am secure, right? And as the energy comes in through everything you've learned from the time you're one to seven is very, it's very much learned, right?

[00:03:46] Occam Wood: You learn about how to communicate with people. You learn how to walk. You learn how to talk. But you also learn the subtle things like, am I safe? Am I going to be provided for? Are my needs met? And as we're having these experiences when we're children. They [00:04:00] actually live in our field. And so when I say field, I literally just mean the space around us.

[00:04:05] Occam Wood: And as the energy goes through that field, it's informing us based on what we believe what we were shown. Depending on what our parents are doing around us, what our siblings are doing around us, this is just, we just pick it up. No one's actually here's the lesson of how to communicate.

[00:04:20] Occam Wood: It's we just pick it up. And so all of these thoughts and belief systems live in our field and the ones that are happy and charged underneath a great positive energy, they will continue to inform you of positivity and the ones that happen under more stressful or dress full times. Traumas, right?

[00:04:37] Occam Wood: Big T traumas, like the physical abuse or alcoholic parents, those kind of things, or the small T traumas, literally just like your siblings need more time than you do. And, say for my son special needs child, it's going to take a lot more attention from the parents. And so the other child might start to make in their own mind.

[00:04:55] Occam Wood: Ideas about oh, I'm not important enough or I'm second rate to [00:05:00] this person, right? Or they don't have enough time for me or when I speak up about my needs I get a reaction from them because they're so stressed and they're so worried But then I make a decision about oh i'm too much for them You know, or I can't speak my mind because i'm not received well And so there's these big t traumas and little t traumas, but they all live around us.

[00:05:19] Occam Wood: And so when I say energy field the energy field is the space that all that lives in, right? And then we receive it. And so what we project out is our reality is based on what we believe. And so when you have these traumas in the field, they're going to, they're going to influence and inform what we think and believe about ourselves and others.

[00:05:41] Dori Durbin: I think a lot of times people think traumas are major events that happen, car accidents, deaths, things like that, but you could even probably have traumas that are smaller and still affecting you, right? 

[00:05:53] Occam Wood: Oh absolutely. And one of my favorite quotes is Gabor Mate.

[00:05:57] Occam Wood: He says that trauma is not the thing that's happening to you. It's the thing that's happening inside of you as a result of what's happening to you. And so this is a very important thing because there's actually been studies where they, can send two men to war and one of them can come back and have PTSD and the other one can start a used car dealership, and they found it so far down to where they've actually tested identical twins who are raised in the same home, same parents, same experiences, but one twin will, Resort to what we would call, more unsavory behaviors like alcoholism or addictions and stuff to in order to cope with what they experienced while the other one is just yeah, it's no big deal.

[00:06:35] Occam Wood: It didn't affect me. Traumas are very individualized and unique and it can be something like a big traumatic event, like a car accident or physical or sexual abuse, but it can be a very a small tease Are like just that thing that your dad said around the dinner table that one time about you're eating like a little piggy and now all of a sudden you as a child, they're like, Oh, I'm a piggy.

[00:06:56] Occam Wood: I'm eating bad, and then you've got an eating disorder that comes out of that, it can be  that one kid on the playground that said, you can't ride on the tire swing because you're not the right color, size, religion, whatever the case may be, that can then you have this thought that's yeah.

[00:07:09] Occam Wood: Always there, always informing the new thoughts that are coming in. And so I'll actually tell people you can't really be sure what you're hearing is the truth. If you're going on autopilot and you're letting some of these subconscious beliefs steer. And so that's where becoming aware of what you're feeling and what you're thinking and how you're reacting, right?

[00:07:27] Occam Wood: Are you reacting or are you responding, and that's a big factor that comes into trauma. It's one of the biggest identities or identifiers I've found, is like, are you responding to this thing or are you reacting? Because odds are you're reacting to almost everything in your life, and those responses are informed by either big T traumas, little t traumas, or the happy times, right?

[00:07:48] Occam Wood: They're all being informed by one side or the other. So what's the difference 

[00:07:51] Dori Durbin: between reacting and responding? 

[00:07:53] Occam Wood: Okay, so reacting is like cause and response, or cause and reaction, right? There's something happens, and then boom, this happens automatically. But I like to say that responding Is when you actually have responsibility, right?

[00:08:06] Occam Wood: You have the ability to respond. You have a moment to say, oh, this is something that's happening. How do I react to it? Do I let my child who just how to fit and through their breakfast cereal on the floor? Do I react by start spanking and screaming?

[00:08:23] Occam Wood: Or do you go whoa, dude, what was that about? Why was that something that just happened? And how can we dive into that deeper, right? So when you're responding, when you have that ability to respond, you can see things for the truth of what they are. But when you're reacting, when you just have these triggers, and that's the biggest thing, is like, people who don't look at how they're acting, they just automatically respond.

[00:08:44] Occam Wood: They just automatically respond. Or, react react. But when you're having the moment of like, why am I reacting? When you get curious about what your reaction is, then you can be responsing. Responding, and one of the biggest things, even in my personal relationship with my wife that I learned that has really helped our marriage a lot [00:09:00] is taking a moment of pause, no matter what the problem is, no matter what she just said, or what I just said, or what just happened.

[00:09:06] Occam Wood: It's like taking a moment of pause and just asking yourself. How am I going to react? What emotions are this bringing up in me? And why are these emotions here? What is it telling me about my unmet needs or potentially something from the past? Because these triggers, you've heard everybody say, I got triggered, right?

[00:09:23] Occam Wood: A trigger is basically an un an unjustified or over, Exaggerated response to something that shouldn't be affecting you anymore to something that's in the past, right? So past traumas are things that are in the past are expecting you now, but basically imbalanced reaction, right?

[00:09:40] Occam Wood: From something that's affecting you in the past. And so those are triggers and we've all had triggers, right? Whether it's that person cutting us off or the person giving us a dirty look in line at the store, there's just so many things. It's yeah. What's that about? And it makes you feel something deeply in your body and you start to think automatically.

[00:09:56] Occam Wood: And so that's how these energies that live in your field are affecting you. So [00:10:00] you identify them and you can neutralize in many ways, right? I help people with the TTSI, but there's many ways to address and neutralize some of these belief systems. And and yeah, I just happen to work in the energetic part.

[00:10:11] Occam Wood: So there is mental ways and emotional practices and stuff that people have. 

[00:10:15] Dori Durbin: Okay so we're talking to parents and We had chatted a little before this, it's easy have a traumatic experience and think, okay I've got that under control, but then you add a child into it, like you were just mentioning with the triggers and if the parent has a trauma that is unresolved, every little trigger that was attached to that is going to set them off with their own child.

[00:10:37] Dori Durbin: So if you're a parent who has unresolved trauma in your past, why should that be an issue for your parenting now?

[00:10:46] Occam Wood: Okay, because We are responding again. This is because we're reacting right? So if you have a trauma and we can talk about epigenetic trauma to after this, but if you have a traumatic event, [00:11:00] say, just trying to think of a mundane example, but the more severe ones, it's usually more severe one that we really are worried about.

[00:11:07] Occam Wood: So if you were physically abused, say, by your parents, right? And like I said, I hate giving that excuse because it or that example, because it's a pretty extreme one. And a lot of people are like, I was never traumatized. I was never traumatized. I didn't have physical abuse or any of these things, but then I'll ask them like would you raise your children the way you were raised?

[00:11:26] Occam Wood: They're like, Oh no, no way. I wouldn't do that to them. I'm like, okay, so that's trauma, right? So when your parents are having especially scarcity is an easy one, right? Cause like my grandma was raised in the depression, right? So she raised my mom who has then taught to save and scrimp and spare and like to never spend anything outside of what she had or not even strive for anything more than that, right?

[00:11:46] Occam Wood: So then that money story, that's an easy one to track down, right? Is that money story that can get passed down from it from generation to generation. And so as we're acting and as we're teaching our children, like I said, especially in those first seven years, how we are [00:12:00] acting about ourselves. If we are the person who curses at the cars driving by, they're going to see.

[00:12:06] Occam Wood: That's what we do. We scream at cars going by. But if you are aware of your traumas, and if you're more conscious with your thoughts and your actions, then you can not pass those on. It's just like any kind of disease, except that you actually have a choice over this one. So you passing down your beliefs, really, and all of us.

[00:12:26] Occam Wood: Our product of the beliefs of our parents, right? Because we, whether we go with them or we rebel against them, that is our gig as kids, right? It's what am I going to be in this world? Here's my two main examples that I get 100 percent of my time from, and so there is this learning.

[00:12:43] Occam Wood: It's basically a learned problem. But if we don't address our traumas, then our kids being kids can activate things in us that will then allow have us. Being like responding in a way that is not accurate for them, right? So the kid [00:13:00] may I think I gave the example earlier of if the kid spills the milk, are you the person who's that's no big deal.

[00:13:06] Occam Wood: Milk is nothing. It's not a big deal, and we can just clean that up and you're not wrong. It's okay. It's just an accident. Or are you going to be the person who's I don't have time for this today. And my dad beat me, for. Her spill in the milk and so I'm going to go ahead and do that to you, and then your kid's going to raise their kids that way and so on and so forth.

[00:13:22] Occam Wood: So it's really important for us as parents if we want to stop genetic or ancestral or hereditary or epigenetic traumas to be really aware of how we are acting and interacting with our kids because we are literally creating them. Like we are, and so many parents know this already, like you can see that whatever you're doing your kid either does it with you or rebels against you.

[00:13:44] Occam Wood: Those are usually the two aspects. And having a base level of your own understanding of your own traumas and your own triggers can help you to be more of a clean slate, right? And help them to have their own identity and help them to excel into their own reality, as opposed to enforcing your beliefs and your [00:14:00] traumas on them.

[00:14:00] Occam Wood: Does that answer the question?  

[00:14:03] Dori Durbin: No, that was great. And I think I can actually give a personal example. When I was younger, we were in a car accident and the car spun uncontrollably on an icy bridge and I hit the side of the window and I remember just thinking that we're going to die and everybody was in the car with us.

[00:14:19] Dori Durbin: So then when my kids got old enough to ride in a car. And not be with me. It was so scary for me because I automatically thought this is what they're going to experience. They're going to experience this bridge spin out, but instead my son was actually with the babysitter and they got rear ended.

[00:14:39] Dori Durbin: And then my daughter was in a car accident. And like in my end of things, it just verifies my beliefs that these car rides are dangerous on their ends of things. I never shared that story with them, but I'm sure they felt a little bit of fear being in cars where we weren't together.

[00:14:55] Dori Durbin: And it never dawned on me until they started driving. [00:15:00] And all of a sudden it was like, whoa, wait a second. I think they're freaked out because I told them, that I basically in my own actions had showed them that cars are scary and you can be in an accident. No matter what, that kind of thing.

[00:15:15] Dori Durbin: And it's just something that like, you don't even realize as a parent that you're injecting that into your kids, this. Belief system that really hasn't been verified on their end. It's never been proven. They've never experienced it. But yet, that's what they believe. I think that's what you've been saying, too..

[00:15:30] Occam Wood: Yeah, absolutely. And that is a really good example, right? Because you had one car accident, right? How many times have you been in the car where you weren't? And so the thing that's happening in that for to use this as an example is a really beautiful example in that moment where you were in that car, right?

[00:15:46] Occam Wood: The energy that was in play at that time, your emotion, your energy that's in motion, right? Was fear. And so in that moment. There's like a catalog, right? Like that moment of time, it got cataloged right over here with fear and anxiety. And so even if you weren't saying okay, everybody be careful of the cars, be careful of the cars, be careful of the cars, the energy coming through that filter as you're driving even is Oh man, I hope you don't get hit today.

[00:16:11] Occam Wood: I hope you don't get hit today. But you're actually projecting out a certain level of energy that's going to help create or co create and manifest. And so worrying about getting hit is more likely to get you hit again. Then to be able to be like, nope, that was a one time thing and in the catalog of things that have happened as a small minute amount.

[00:16:29] Occam Wood: But because it is a subconscious trauma, it doesn't get addressed. If you were able to if we were to do a session we would go in and we would actually find the energetic frequency of that. And we would see how it's affected your physical body because the physical body is also built with this same energy and it can be distorted through the same traumas and it can end up in different things like cancer or, okay.

[00:16:48] Occam Wood: autoimmune problems, all kinds of stuff. But when you get in there and neutralize that energy, then all of a sudden you're like, wow, why was I why was I so obsessed with that? Because there's a giant filter.  So when you change the filter, all of a sudden you're getting more pure information, you're gonna pass more pure information onto your kids.

[00:17:05] Occam Wood: And so it's interesting that they have picked up and been in car accidents and now I'm curious how those car accidents affected them. Are they able to let them be like, oh, that was just a one time thing, or are they now like in that same frequency? Because, and I could go off on a tangent about epigenetics of trauma, right?

[00:17:21] Occam Wood: How our DNA literally holds the past for us, and this is given in plenty of examples oh, we're afraid of snakes. Because snakes are dangerous in the past and there's done studies about chickens that can never raised by another chicken adult and yet when they see a hawk silhouette They scramble and they've tested it with crows and doves and all kinds of other things chickens don't freak out But when they fly over a hawk silhouette the chickens freak out So there's something in their DNA that is telling them that this is dangerous, even though no one in the field Physical reality is actually told them.

[00:17:54] Occam Wood: So if you take that and you exasperated into humans we're passing down our traumas. And so it is a matter of identifying them so that you can process them. And then your children actually benefit. Automatically, right? So it's really interesting. I've seen some really powerful things happen in family lines as one person heals their traumas or releases the energy around and learns the lesson from them.

[00:18:16] Occam Wood: That all the people in their family can start to change and shift with them just by them doing the work. 

[00:18:21] Dori Durbin: That's amazing. Yeah. I do know that PTSD. And has had to work really hard through it. And the other one doesn't act like it's a big deal. So I don't know. Sure. 

[00:18:32] Occam Wood: That's the, and that's a perfect example of how one person can have the effect and the other person can just let it slide.

[00:18:38] Occam Wood: And yet that other person may be a scared of spiders for no reason. So it's one of those things is it's, it all lives in the field. It all lives in the field. 

[00:18:47] Dori Durbin: Now the TTSI, let's say you're somebody who is. listening right now and they're thinking to themselves man, I never thought about this before.

[00:18:55] Dori Durbin: I never thought about it affecting my kids. What is the process? Like, how does this even work for that? 

[00:19:02] Occam Wood: And like I said, again, I could spend a long time talking about that, but the shortest explanation is basically, and it's said in so many different, like I said, modalities as far as subconscious thoughts and mental programming, all these things.

[00:19:15] Occam Wood: And to me, it just shows up as energy in the field. And so the TTSI is a way of. First of all, we're like I said, we're all connected to source energy and there's interference between us and what we're receiving. So it literally be like, if I held a balloon up and the sun is shining in, and that balloon is not going to let actual light through.

[00:19:35] Occam Wood: It's only going to let the color of the balloon through. And so what I do is I help people see those filters and the impressions that are getting made and then. Charging up the body. So connecting you to source again so that you're not going through all the processes of the traumas, and it really builds up the core of the body and the energy field so that then you can dive deeply into the unseen, the unknown.

[00:19:57] Occam Wood: Some people are aware of the trauma they have. A lot of people don't know where it started, right? They can see the results. I'm having a hard time in my relationship with my kids, with my job, whatever. They can see the results. of the side effects of the traumas, but they can't see the traumas themselves.

[00:20:11] Occam Wood: So the TTSI, it is a bit of a longer session. It's definitely not your standard Reiki session. But also I would have to know to receive it is that there are things that they don't know. And then that makes it easier, but. There's a lot of science behind it. There's a lot of science that shows that our body is electromagnetic and the thoughts are electromagnetic.

[00:20:29] Occam Wood: And so the TTSI is my way of helping people charge their body up so they can process and then identify and release the energies, these filters, these toxins. I call it energetic toxins, right? Because. Just like in our physical body. If you take a carcinogen in, if you take an environmental toxin, you will create disease in the body, disease, disharmony, and dysfunction in the body.

[00:20:53] Occam Wood: And so these are like toxins that live in the energy field. And so it's like a detox for that part of us that is  outside of our physical body so that we can get more in touch and more pure connection to source. 

[00:21:06] Dori Durbin: Okay, this is probably a dumb question, but if you detox once, is that once and done for a lot of people?

[00:21:12] Occam Wood: Sometimes, yeah, for most people, I have a lot of clients who just come for one very specific reason, and then they are able to address that it's a four hour session with two weeks worth of support in between, and then a two hour follow up after the fact. So a lot of times this, these shifts can be so profound in someone's awareness that it literally shakes up.

[00:21:30] Occam Wood: The basis of their life, like these are because everything you're doing is because of everything you've done. So when you process what you've done and what you've experienced, it can help you to change what you're doing now. And so supporting people through that awakening or ascension into who they truly are can be profound.

[00:21:46] Occam Wood: And sometimes it's just as easy as a snap of the fingers. And sometimes it can. Bring the world down around you and you start to like reevaluate relationships and partnerships and things. So it can be like, I've definitely had people have come in for a session and been like, Oh wow, I need to leave my partner, because that's where the, that's where the problem is coming from, there's, so it's not always as easy as just like fairies and rainbows and unicorns.

[00:22:08] Occam Wood: A lot of times it can be a little bit disruptive, but with the right support and with the right aftercare, it really can be a one, one and done. Sometimes they need to be done twice. Sometimes getting rid of one trauma will uncover another one. So there's stacks and stacks of stuff going on in our energy field.

[00:22:26] Occam Wood: But many of my clients will come and for just one session or one, one set of sessions. Yeah. 

[00:22:32] Dori Durbin: Okay. So what is the smallest reason somebody's come in to see you and then did it evolve into the, actually there was a bigger reason, so maybe it was I just can't get over my lower back pain. Occam, can you help me? And really it was something else. 

[00:22:48] Occam Wood: Yeah. Yeah. That's a tough one. I'm trying to think of the smallest reason someone's coming with the biggest result. For a really easy one is a client who, who didn't, she couldn't sell. She was an entrepreneur coach and she's like man, I love, what I do, but I can't seem to talk to people.

[00:23:03] Occam Wood: I can't seem to sell my thing. And when we dove in, we found out that she had been molested and that like younger ages. And she tried to speak up for herself, and it wasn't received. Her mom was like we're just women and that's our lot in life. And so later on in her life, she wasn't able to set boundaries.

[00:23:22] Occam Wood: She wasn't able to ask for things. She wasn't able to make her voice heard. And so we did that session just on that trauma itself. And then all of a sudden she went on to sell a bunch of sessions. Like she sold her package, like all of a sudden she could talk on stages and now she's doing the thing.

[00:23:35] Occam Wood: There's things like that. And then there's also the things where people come in for pain. You know where it's yeah, I've got to go in for this surgery. My shoulder. It's nothing right. They can't figure out what's wrong with it, but it still is in pain and then come to find out that she was a caregiver for not only her spouse and her son, but also her mother.

[00:23:52] Occam Wood: So she had been a caregiver since she was a child. And so we tapped into the shoulder to see what the pain was about ended up processing  20 years of caregiver burnout. And on the day she was supposed to get her shoulder surgery, she actually went salsa dancing instead. So there's amazing profound things like that.

[00:24:09] Occam Wood: And then I'd say the biggest shift I've had was one person who came in she was just a little depressed and she, so she was really, she wasn't sure why, but she was starting to feel a little bit suicidal ideation. So it was not like she came in for a small thing. But as we got into it and the processes, we processed a bunch of stuff for childhood stuff.

[00:24:28] Occam Wood: And two weeks later, she started walking. She was in a wheelchair for two and a half years and the doctors told her they didn't know exactly what was wrong and they didn't, weren't sure that she'd ever walk again. It looked like a degenerative nerve problem. But just by processing the energetic toxins, it allowed that, like I said, that pure light of the universe to get into the DNA, which is also made of light, but that's a whole other conversation.

[00:24:49] Occam Wood: And it affected her. She was able to heal, her body. And I wouldn't say I healed her. I didn't help her to walk. I literally just processed the energetic traumas that were Keeping her from healing herself. The body is this beautiful, perfect machine and it will heal itself as long as we give it the parameters and the environment INSPIRED

[00:25:05] Dori Durbin: those are incredible changes for, really, for what they came in for and left with. That's amazing. 

[00:25:12] Occam Wood: Yeah, and it really is. Like I said, I've done so many addictions and suicidal ideations, but the more and more I do, the more I find that the trauma is the same. Even if, whether you had a physically abusive parent or Disassociated and distant parent, it can still show up in the trauma in the same way.

[00:25:29] Occam Wood: So whether you are homeless on the street, trying to get off a heroin, or if you're a million dollar coach or million dollar CEO, but can't communicate with your family and your body starts to rot because you're having these acidic thoughts and acidic attitude. And then all of a sudden you start getting cancer and all these different things.

[00:25:47] Occam Wood: So it really is. Yeah. It's a broad depth of work for sure. There's so many different reasons and so many effects. And like I said, Reiki is really good for, if you just need a pep up, if you just need a little bit of energy, but what I've developed [00:26:00] can really help with physical pain and emotional pain as well.

[00:26:04] Dori Durbin: How has this changed your parenting? Because I know your situation has all changed too. 

[00:26:08] Occam Wood: Yeah, oh my gosh, literally, it's funny because I'd actually say my parenting has changed me into this, right? Because when my son was born, he was neurotypical, and at two and a half years old he stopped talking.

[00:26:20] Occam Wood: And so you can imagine, as a parent, all of a sudden everything you think is going to be normal. Quote unquote, normal, we're going to have these mile markers at these ages, and we're going to go on to ride a bike. We're going to go to school. We're going to do these things, all of a sudden, when you get that diagnosis of autism, and they tell you that your child may never talk again, and may never do anything again, may potentially be institutionalized and medicated for the rest of their life.

[00:26:46] Occam Wood: All of a sudden, the normal path is destroyed. It's literally blown up in front of you. And now you have a wreckage to walk through. And so it's really easy as a person who has been traumatized to [00:27:00] be like, this is Pardon my English. This is F'd, right? This is messed up. I can't do this and you start to fight against it and you start to get angry about this is how it's supposed to be.

[00:27:09] Occam Wood: And it's so much confusing. And I can tell you for those first, maybe six months after Gavin's autism, my wife and I just looked at each other what do we do? What do we do? I didn't even know about autism. And then we walked into a doctor's appointment and she's how long have you had your diagnosis?

[00:27:24] Occam Wood: I'm like we're here for his gut. What do you mean diagnosis? Oh, he's clearly got autism. The doctor told us that he might start talking eventually. And then our new naturopath was like, no he's got autism. And so we didn't even plan on having the diagnosis. But the level of patients that has been cultivated.

[00:27:42] Occam Wood: From my son and also the drive to find alternative means, right? Because when you get that diagnosis of yeah, basically, you're going to give him medication that's going to sedate him give him antipsychotics and antidepressants that could possibly give him side hallucinations and suicidal thoughts, but he'll be [00:28:00] quiet.

[00:28:00] Occam Wood: And, maybe won't hit himself anymore. You have to start asking questions, so his journey really sparked my journey. So I would, I can literally say I would not be doing what I'm doing right now if it wasn't for my drive to find out how can I communicate with somebody that doesn't talk, and so that was my driving force was how do I heal my son and how do I learn how to communicate with him being nonverbal.

[00:28:22] Occam Wood: And so I started getting how do I learn how to be psychic? And so that was literally the start of it, right? It was like, how do I learn how to understand the subtle energies of what he's showing me? And how do I interpret that? And how do I go about things? And so all the alternative stuff that's come out of our diet, our nutrition, our energy work has all come out of my desire to help him have a more successful and happy and pain free life, and I can tell you that as we've moved through, not only doing the diet and the energy work, but just our presence, yeah.

[00:28:51] Occam Wood: So as a parent of an autistic child, if you think you've lost your patience with your kids, imagine when you're having to sit there, and this is a real example, like my son will get very agitated if he's in pain, he wants to cause pain, right? And so I have to keep him from hurting himself and hurting us.

[00:29:08] Occam Wood: And there have been days and weeks where we've spent 20 hours out of the day, just restraining him from hurting himself or hurting us and ended up at the end of the week, bitten, blue, bruised, bloody and exhausted. If I was still in the state of I'm right, and I've got to do something right, and I'm going to punish you the way I was punished, and I'm going to try to enforce the things that were enforced upon me, then it's just going to cause a bunch of chaos.

[00:29:32] Occam Wood: So literally the fact that I have to re evaluate every single thing, every interaction I have with him has to come from a place of pure love and response, not reaction. So it's funny. Like I was telling you earlier last night, we were up to one o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning because he was having digestion issues again.

[00:29:51] Occam Wood: And at one of the points, he made a mess on one side of the room. So I went to go clean up the mess on the other side of the room. And I turn around and he's put his hand through a glass window. So if I was traumatized, I might just call it all quits. And I don't know. There's an insane amount of things that come along with special needs kids, like the rate of divorce.

[00:30:09] Occam Wood: Goes up from 50 percent to 80 percent or more with a diagnosis of special needs, whether that's autism or down syndrome or even multiple sclerosis, all these kind of things that cause extra stress on the family. And that causes a lot of different problems between relationships, right? And so you can imagine any argument you had with your spouse over your kids.

[00:30:30] Occam Wood: Imagine that expanded like 10 fold because the child isn't You're not able to negotiate. You're not able to bribe. You're not able to manipulate. And it is basically been the driving force for me how to readdress what I'm doing and what I'm doing in life and what I'm doing with my clients.

[00:30:46] Occam Wood: It's all has to do with how I'm learning to communicate in this new way with him. 

[00:30:50] Dori Durbin: Yeah. And that reaction versus response part. I think. You had plenty of trauma in your own life that you had to figure out how to release to not bring it into  that situation. 

[00:31:00] Occam Wood: Yeah, sexual and physical abuse from childhood, drug and alcohol abuse, suicidal ideation, depression, all that stuff.

[00:31:07] Occam Wood: And it took me 20 years to get to the point where I am now, and I can tell you the first 15 were way harder than the last five. Because once, once I realized that it wasn't just something that's in my head. It was something that was in my being as a whole. All the sobriety and everything else has become so much easier, and the patience has come in so much easier.

[00:31:29] Occam Wood: And I'd love to tell you that because I'm an energy worker, me and my wife never have any arguments, but that's not the case. But the arguments and conversations we have. They elevate us instead of bringing us down because we've both done the work of Oh, you're actually triggering me right now because you're reminding me of the way my mom acted at this certain point.

[00:31:47] Occam Wood: And so I'm going to make sure that you know that I'm upset right now, but I'm not upset at you. And I'm going to go ahead and do this. I'm going to do an exercise to work through this trauma. And then I'll come back to you. We can talk about this after I've cooled down, so those kinds of awarenesses that have come out of it have been the most powerful.

[00:32:02] Dori Durbin: That's awesome. Awesome. Okay. So I know that you have great advice for parents. So if you know that they're dealing with the situation that maybe their child was traumatized, maybe they themselves were traumatized, what are three to five steps that they could start doing as soon as they get off this podcast?
What can they do for themselves or their children? 

[00:32:24] Occam Wood: Yeah, so the first thing I would say is the self, right? The first thing is to really start to implement and there's exercises where you can write out your story, And you can start to see oh, this is something that might be affecting me.

[00:32:36] Occam Wood: And so the first thing is self awareness Why do I do this? And I would recommend the book The four agreements and actually the fifth agreement for any parent like straight up if you are a parent go read the four agreements and then read the fifth agreement because these agreements are can keep you from getting in your trauma, right?

[00:32:56] Occam Wood: The first agreement is be impeccable with your word, [00:33:00] right? And so that means not saying, not only not saying something that you're not going to follow through with, right? Following through with what you say, but it also is what is my word doing to somebody else? How am I using my words to affect somebody else?

[00:33:12] Occam Wood: Am I doing that in a positive way or a negative way? Am I doing that to uplift somebody or downshift And so it's be impeccable with your word. Don't make assumptions. How many times has a parents were like, you must be doing this. Like, why? So ask why? Ask how? Ask what? Get curious about what's going on with your children.

[00:33:31] Occam Wood: Do not make assumptions because there is a dang good chance that what you're hearing is actually not what they're saying. Right? And that goes both ways. But as an adult, you have the responsibility to say, Oh, I think what you're saying is this. So let me work that out. Can you explain why you're feeling angry at me?

[00:33:52] Occam Wood: Can you tell me why you think I'm a bad parent? Can you tell me just get curious about where your children's emotions are coming from so that you are not [00:34:00] reacting, right? So you're not reacting. The third agreement is Don't take it personally. And so this one is really important for parents and for kids.

[00:34:11] Occam Wood: And like I said, teach this to your kids, right? Don't take it personally. If there's something bothering you, like it's a good chance that it's just because they're being a kid. Do you remember hormones? Do you remember the desire to be with your friends? Do you remember how stupid you thought your parents were?

[00:34:25] Occam Wood: Don't make assumptions and don't take it personally because. What they're doing is not a, it's not a comment on you. It's usually just what they're doing. How you react is a comment of you, right? So be curious. So don't take it personally. And then the fourth agreement is do your best.

[00:34:42] Occam Wood: And that doesn't mean you have to be a hundred percent all the time. It means show up at the best you can during that time. And if you can make an effort to always show up doing your best, then you can say yeah, yesterday I was, my best was only a five. And I'm okay with that because I tried to do my best and I'm going to make [00:35:00] apologies.

[00:35:00] Occam Wood: I'm going to make amends, whatever the case may be, but don't feel guilty about it. And and so do the best is the fourth agreement. And then the fifth agreement, which I think is most important for this conversation, which is be skeptical yet curious. And so Don Miguel Ruiz talks about going to war with your thoughts.

[00:35:17] Occam Wood: Every single thing that is going to leave your mouth, ask yourself, do I actually believe in this? Is this something that I picked up unconsciously? Is this my mom's thought? My dad's thought? Is this my preacher's thought? Is this my president's thought? Is this the kids at school's thought? So really dissecting what and why and how you are reacting so that you can then respond.

[00:35:38] Occam Wood: So that's where personally I have taken on I will always give myself a pause. So no matter how heated the environment is, no matter what's going on, it doesn't matter if, like I said, if I'm literally getting punched in the face for a moment, I can take a moment and say, this does not mean anything.[00:36:00] 

[00:36:00] Occam Wood: This is a moment in time. It doesn't mean anything about my past. It doesn't mean anything about my future. How can I take a breath? And truly ask myself, is what I'm hearing, is what I'm feeling, is what I'm experiencing truth, or is this being informed by one of my triggers, one of my traumas, one of my filters, and the distortions.

[00:36:20] Occam Wood: And so that would be my biggest, those are something that I use on a daily basis in all of my relationships, especially when it comes to children. And that can really help you to then identify oh wow, I do have a trauma in here, and I, pfft. I didn't want to react this way that time. Dang, I reacted again the way that I said I wasn't going to.

[00:36:38] Occam Wood: There must be something deeper here that I can't see. And then that's where seeking out help for that is so important. And while I do believe that we are sovereign beings and we can absolutely do anything, we can heal ourselves, we can do anything by ourselves, we can change our entire realities, you also cannot read the label from inside the bottle.

[00:36:56] Occam Wood: And so having somebody that you trust. Who can be a [00:37:00] neutral space. He doesn't have skin in the game that you can turn to and say, Hey, here's. Here's reality. Here's what's happening. Here's how I'm feeling about it. Can you help me see the difference between what's happening and what I'm feeling?

[00:37:12] Occam Wood: And then, there's definitely so many people, you and I know a lot of people in the same sphere that help people to do that. Being self reflective is probably the biggest thing I could suggest for any parent because I think we've all heard the story about the ham that was cut.

[00:37:25] Occam Wood: They cut the end off the ham. Have you heard this great analogy of every Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever it was, they'd make the ham, but they'd cut the end off the ham. And they didn't know why they just kept doing it. And one kid, one of the younger kids was like, why are you cutting the end off the ham?

[00:37:40] Occam Wood: I'm like, I don't know. Let me find out. I asked my mom, what's the thing with the ham? Oh, I don't know. Let's ask grandma. Grandma was like, yeah, the pan that we had was too small. So we cut the ham. No big deal. But the fact that our ham got, or our pan got bigger, didn't change the fact that we were just doing what we saw happen before.

[00:37:57] Occam Wood: But when you get that question like, oh, why am I doing this? Oh, I don't need to do it anymore. And it can literally be that easy. Once you have the awareness and the acknowledgement and the acceptance, then you can take the action to move out of it into the Ascension part of it. 

[00:38:10] Dori Durbin: That's a beautiful example.

[00:38:12] Dori Durbin: I love that because I think it's so true. We get wrapped into doing what we've always done. We don't like it. But we don't know how to unwrap it and we don't know that there's a. Fairly simple way to get out 

[00:38:23] Occam Wood: of it either. Yeah. And, like I said, to go back to the epigenetics one of my other favorite studies.

[00:38:28] Occam Wood: And like I said, I could go on and on because there are so many scientific studies that prove what the ancient people were talking about when they're talking about my energy set and stuff. A light body and all these things. But one of my favorite examples of epigenetic trauma is fleas. A flea has an incredible jumping capacity, like six to seven feet.

[00:38:47] Occam Wood: So for a, if it were you or me, we'd be jumping over a skyscraper, right? But they can take a group of fleas and put them in a jar with a lid on. And for two days, they'll let the fleas jump and they'll hit the top of the jar, and the [00:39:00] top of the jar. And then eventually they'll stop jumping to the point where they hit the jar, because they don't want to hurt themselves anymore.

[00:39:04] Occam Wood: You can take the lid off the jar and they will not jump any higher than the jar. Then they'll live, right? Now that makes sense because they've been trained, right? But three generations later, their offspring will still only jump as high as their parents without the awareness that they can jump higher.

[00:39:21] Occam Wood: That's crazy. And that is how we live our lives. 

[00:39:26] Dori Durbin: That's just more proof again okay, my parents did this, I'm probably going to do this. Even though in your mind's eye you want to do more, you just keep limiting yourself. 

[00:39:33] Occam Wood: Yeah, and the interesting thing to me is always the people who are like, I will never be like my dad, and then 10 years down the road, they have a kid and they find themselves doing exactly the same thing, even though they don't want to.

[00:39:47] Occam Wood: And that's where addressing the traumas in the field can help so much because you can have the mental awareness. But again, the brain is only a receiver. It's not a transmitter. So if the belief is out here, then it goes farther than just mindset. 

[00:39:59] Dori Durbin: It's so powerful and crazy at the same time, honestly. Occam, I know people are going to want to talk to you more, because I know that I could talk to you more, so where are the best places to find you and to connect with you? 

[00:40:12] Occam Wood: Yeah. So my business name is Razor's Edge Energetics. So on Instagram and YouTube, and I'm like you, I'm just starting to populate my YouTube.

[00:40:19] Occam Wood: So there'll be a much more extended versions of everything we've talked about today on my YouTube. And then my website is occamwood.com . And both of those places have videos where you can learn more about the TTSI and I think that's the best ways right now is either email at Occamwood.com or find me on Instagram at razor's Occam wood, tick tock at Occam wood. I just started my tick tock too. That's a lot of fun. And then LinkedIn also, you can find me as Occam wood as well. So basically Occam wood almost anywhere. And I'm pretty much still a new Occam wood, so it won't be too hard to find OCCAM.

[00:40:54] Dori Durbin: I was just going to mention, you just put that in and they'll probably find you real quick. That's right, Occam, thank you so much for all of this. This has been fabulous. And like I said, I hope people will reach out and talk to you more. 

[00:41:05] Occam Wood: Yeah, me too. Me too. Thanks for having me, Dori. It's been really lovely.

[00:41:08] Dori Durbin: Thank you, Occam.